In older, more savage days, women often used masturbation as a way to keep their hands looking good. These women of yesteryear would insert their hands into their sin-zone as a way to moisturize their hands after washing dishes. After all, nobody wanted “Dish Pan Hands” in those days.
In the late 1940’s, when corporate businesses were still moral, the BJ Johnson company looked for a way to end what they believed was a necessary evil within the American household. Their solution was a dishwashing liquid soap that would actually moisturize a woman’s hands, so they would not need to masturbate.
The marketing department of this company needed to let women know that they did not need to insert their hands inside of themselves anymore. Obviously, a message that targeted women needed to be short enough that they could understand it, given their limited intellectual capability. They came up with the name “Palm-Olive” as a way to inform women that their hands would feel as though they were working with olive oil while not needing to insert their palms into their own bodies.
The result of this revolutionary household product was a staggering reduction in female masturbation. As a result, more women were engaging in procreation-only sex and birthrates skyrocketed. This became known as the “Baby-Boom.”
Today, Palmolive soap is still going strong and keeping women in the good graces of god. The product line has been expanded to meet the dishwashing demands of today’s modern woman.
Thank you for this important History Lesson, Brother Liam. I never knew that Palm-Olive was such a key ingredient to the anti-masturbation cause!
[…] pics that make you go WTF?? LOL This has to be a parody site on the level of The Onion. Product Review: Palmolive Dish Soap | Stop Masturbation Now The writter is using a pic of Lemmy Kilmister as his […]