Articles by: Liam McKey

How to Report A Masturbator to the Authorities

How to Report A Masturbator to the Authorities

The act of masturbation is illegal in all 50 states and US territories where it is classified as a “lewd and lascivious” act. Police departments are actively seeking out masturbators, as they present a danger to society and the fines associated with this crime generate a lot of revenue for […]

by May 19, 2020 138 comments Morals, Trending
Bill Cosby Credited with Striking-Down California’s Statute of Limitations on Self-Rape

Bill Cosby Credited with Striking-Down California’s Statute of Limitations on Self-Rape

Sometimes we have heroes among us and sometimes they are in Hollywood.  Earlier this week, California Governor Jerry Brown signed a monumental bill into law, for which many people credit Bill Cosby for making an idea, a reality. In July of 2015, SMN reported the case of a woman who accused […]

by October 1, 2016 7 comments Celebrity
How Female Masturbation Affects the Female Body

How Female Masturbation Affects the Female Body

A woman’s health is a priority to roughly half of the human population. It’s where babies are made and it’s also where they come from. For a man, making sure his same-race wife’s vagina is in proper working order is no different than taking care of his tools. For the […]

by September 2, 2016 21 comments Female Masturbation
Member of SMN Comes Out As a Gay

Member of SMN Comes Out As a Gay

Earlier this week, the unthinkable happened.  James Wright, a member of SMN Ministries for two months, came out as a gay man.  Unlike most gay people who flamboyantly sing about being gay, Mr. Wright did not admit that he was gay.  SMN Deacon Jacob Franklin, and his keen eye for […]

by June 3, 2016 9 comments Crime
A businessman pulling back his skirt to reveal a target symbol.

Target Allows Transgender People to Masturbate in Restroom of Their Choosing

Earlier this week, French-owned retailer “Target (pronounced, tar-jay)” announced that it will allow transgender people to use and masturbate in whatever restroom they choose to.  This new corporate policy comes amid new laws in North Carolina, Mississippi and Tennessee which restrict access to public restrooms based upon gender. A spokesman […]

by April 20, 2016 5 comments Moral Outrage
Ted Cruz Trying to Sway the Anti-Masturbation Vote Away From Trump

Ted Cruz Trying to Sway the Anti-Masturbation Vote Away From Trump

Ever since SMN Ministries founder and overall spiritual leader Lonnie Childs declared his endorsement for GOP frontrunner Donald Trump, Texas senator Ted Cruz has been lobbying the Anti-Masturbation community for their support, directly. Senator Cruz has repeatedly brought-up his 2004 efforts as Solicitor General of Texas to ban the sale […]

by April 15, 2016 2 comments Politics
SMN Ministries Celebrates 1,000th Funeral Protested

SMN Ministries Celebrates 1,000th Funeral Protested

We all know there is no better way to warn people about an eternity in hell then when death is staring them in the face. There is nowhere where this opportunity presents itself better than at a funeral.  At these events you will find: the corpse of a dead person, […]

by March 30, 2016 3 comments Family Values
Always urinate as if someone is watching

The SMN Guide to Male Urination

One of the biggest questions that we get here at STOP Masturbation NOW is, “How can I urinate without becoming a sinner?” Rest assured, good man!  There are a number of ways to urinate and still be in good-shape come time for the Rapture. Before we get into the actual […]

by February 16, 2016 9 comments Uncategorized
Is an Absent Father to Blame for Masturbation?

Is an Absent Father to Blame for Masturbation?

The rise of feminism in the US has encouraged many women to become single-parents. In these families, the only contribution the father makes is in the form of child-support payments.  While only 20% of the child-support payment goes towards the child itself, the mother hits a “Pay Day” with the […]

by January 15, 2016 10 comments Family Values
Self-Purity:  The Newest Teenage Fad?

Self-Purity: The Newest Teenage Fad?

It seems like every generation is more confused than the generation before it. In the 50’s it was “cool” to wear poodle skirts and comb your hair. In the 60’s, it was “hip” to dress like a homeless person and avoid soapy water while the sexual revolution introduced masturbation into […]

by January 6, 2016 10 comments Morals
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