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Breaking News: Masturbation Causes NYC Building Collapse

(StopMasturbationNOW)— A residential apartment building collapsed and was engulfed in flames today in New York City’s East Village neighborhood. There was no immediate information on possible injuries, said a spokesman for the New York Police Department.

imagesLive footage on local television showed a residential apartment building engulfed in flames and heavy smoke. Early investigations have revealed that the building showed significant foundation erosion from semen and structural weakening from masturbation induced vibrations.

Local television also reported a large explosion at the scene and an adjacent building also on fire.

Rescuers from the Fire Department of New York (FDNY) were headed to the location, which was on Second Avenue and East 7th Street in Manhattan, an FDNY spokeswoman said.

Masturbation is the number one cause of infrastructure failure in the United States.

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Truffle
5 years ago

I pray no non-masturbators were injured.

morris shrem
morris shrem
5 years ago

GOD ( NO PUN INTENTED ) I LOVE THIS WEBSITE it’s filled with stupid shit everyday

William
William
5 years ago

Wow. Lmao

Randy Bobandy
Randy Bobandy
5 years ago

NYC, eh? Then why is the main article image the Kingdome implosion that happened 15 years ago in Seattle? LOLOLOL I can’t breathe

morris shrem
morris shrem
5 years ago
Reply to  Randy Bobandy

best part is they didn’t even prove their point on how masturbation is the #1 cause of infrastructure

Josh
Josh
5 years ago
Reply to  morris shrem

Faith Facts need no proof. If you don’t know that, you must be a sin stick worshiper.

Lacy
Lacy
5 years ago

This shit is hilarious. You people have to be the dumbest most ignorant hillbillys on the planet. You’re right up there with the kkk and Bill O’Reilly. Everything you put in this article is bullshit. Get a fact checking department and then try spewing your hate mongering on a legitimate news source.

Jacque Strapp
Jacque Strapp
5 years ago

Actually it was gas that caused that explosion… so now Lonnie needs to create an Anti – Farting Website as well.

HansHuber
HansHuber
5 years ago

God destroyed this building, because so many masterbators were inside! The satanic self-rapers must be destroyed, it’s God’s will!

Alden
Alden
5 years ago

THIS WEBSIRE IS AMAZING! IT HAS EVERYTHING!!! IDIOT CHRISTIANS, IDIOT REPUBLICANS, IDIOTS AGAINST FUCKING JACKING OFF FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!! IT’S BEAUTIFUL!