Ask Lonnie

Harambe is Slang for Male Masturbation

Dear Lonnie,

My 13 Year-old son wants to buy a Harambe t shirt. I asked him what it meant and he had trouble explaining it to me. It sounds kind of ethnic? Can you provide any guidance?

Patricia Hunt

 

Pat,

Thank you for writing. You are right to worry. Harambe is secret slang for male masturbation. People will post or write “penis out for Harambe”. This is then taken as a sign to masturbate. Harambe is an ancient black word meaning “black sin pole”. It has unfortunately been popular in the US this year. Thank you for writing and I will send you a copy of my latest book.

Lonnie Childs.

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A Bible Scholar/LogicianChild of Lonnie( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)Masturbation is NormalMr. Louis Cypher Recent comment authors
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Daniel
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Daniel

You’re joking, right? Harambe was the Western Lowland Gorilla killed at the Cincinatti zoo this year. Also it’s Swahili for ‘communal labor’.

On second thought, this site has to be satire, right?

M
Guest
M

I seriously hope it is satire…..

dicksoutforD-plant
Guest
dicksoutforD-plant

I wish it was a joke. It may of started as a meme but now every time i see a Gorilla I have to pull down my pants and violently masturbate. Some of the time it’s not enough to use my own hand (also I feel guilty knowing this site is watching me) so now I just violently, yet very passionately fuck the gorilla’s brains out. HA TAKE THAT LOONIE FUCKIN LOOP HOLE!

Ms Millie Tant
Guest
Ms Millie Tant

Comrades in Christ! We have finally achieved one of our shared goals! Racial segregation is back!

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2016/sep/6/cal-state-university-la-offers-segregated-housing-/

Next, lets work on our next shared goal: the banning of disgusting pornography (main cause of masturbation).

Yum Yum Gimme Some
Guest
Yum Yum Gimme Some

The “main cause of masturbation” is having genitalia. Porn just speeds up the process.

Harambe
Guest
Harambe

Sometimes I masturbate to two horses fucking. My mom watches

Dicks
Guest
Dicks

#dicksoutforharambe

Anal
Guest
Anal

This site is fucking retarded, jacking your Willy is Just a human thing. Crazy fucking people smh..

Masturbation is Normal
Guest

It’s not just human, all animals do it. Chimpanzees have been seen masturbating to “porn” that they made by drawing boobs.

Child of Lonnie
Guest
Child of Lonnie

Would you jump off a bridge just because a chipanzee did it?

Daniel C
Guest
Daniel C

Whoever wrote this article and any of the others aren’t fucking stupid, harambe is a gorilla that got shot at a zoo, and hugh jackman is a name of a human why does he need to change it like are tall fucking retarded

Daniel C
Guest
Daniel C

Are* they defiantly are stupid

Harambe believer
Guest
Harambe believer

Fuck u bastards if ur gonna disrespect a gorilla that died for no reason I get it that dicks out for HARAMBE may be inappropriate but it’s really not. And I can definitely assure u harambe does not mean male masturbation

LadyGayGay
Guest

Bless us can I get an amen up in here

Mr. Louis Cypher
Guest

Is this site a meme?

★HAIL LUCIFER ★
( ͡° ͡° ͡° ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ͡° ͡° ͡°)

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Guest
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Dicks out for Harambe. You were taken from us to son but ever time I look at my penis I’ll remember you

A Bible Scholar/Logician
Guest
A Bible Scholar/Logician

Lonnie, you are despised because you caused pain between two fellowmen, and between fathers and sons. how could you?