Faces of Masturbation

THE FACES OF MASTURBATION: “THOMAS Y.”

Masturbators for the most part look just like you or I but upon closer inspection subtle differences become apparent. Witness this lost soul, who we will call “Thomas Y.”, who has recently been diagnosed with stage-2 masturbation astigmatism. Please print out this picture and carry it with you at all times. If you encounter anyone who displays these symptoms DO NOT SHAKE THEIR HAND. If you must, offer a polite, sin-free fist bump and quickly excuse yourself and alert your local pastor for an emergency prayer session. You have done your part, the rest is between God and the self-rapist.

Be alert!  Be vigilant!  Be self-rape free!

– Lonnie

 

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Justin
Justin
5 years ago

I masturbated to this article

Satan himself
Satan himself
5 years ago
Reply to  Justin

Amen!

My lord Vader
My lord Vader
5 years ago

As did I, and also to the not so Virgin Mary. Also…. Puss cunt!

Jesus christ
Jesus christ
5 years ago

I jizzed on a classroom of 6th graders, thanks stopmasturbation.org

PotatoFace
PotatoFace
5 years ago

finished masturbating and came (lol) to this site. Love that all the ads are half naked girls. irony.

Mephistopheles
Mephistopheles
5 years ago

I’m thrilled

Devin
Devin
5 years ago

Umm…. Dont You Guys Think That The Person Who Published This Article Is Going A Little Bit Overboard? This Looks Like A Normal Guy. And All The Writer Is Doing Is Pointing Out His Facial Flaws. Kinda Dumb If You Ask Me.

steve
steve
5 years ago

yes tom is a textbook case. may the lord continue to punish tom, in his mercy.

ThisIsBaloney
ThisIsBaloney
5 years ago

Uh…. Masturbation doesn’t have these effects on our genetics…?
What the fuck is ‘masturbation hair’? XD

Masturbating King
Masturbating King
5 years ago

Thomas Y. is actually Thom Yorke of Radiohead/Atoms for Peace. As a huge fan, I think I’d know if he had some disease… The best part, however, is that they blame his eye problem that he was BORN with on masturbation. I’m so happy I found this article.

Bob
Bob
5 years ago

What a bullshit tosser site

Fapmcfappants
Fapmcfappants
5 years ago

I came from just looking at his face.

myspace tom
myspace tom
4 years ago

brb, need a trip to the yank tank