Faces of Masturbation

Why are People Masturbating While Watching The Walking Dead?

(StopMasturbationNOW)—One of the most popular television shows this decade has been The Walking Dead. It is a show about a rag tag group of survivors fighting their way through a post-apocalyptic world.  The show seems innocent enough, however our data shows a marked increase in masturbation and masturbation related activities when people view this Showtime television program.

Thanks to a federal grant from the Foundation For a Better Tomorrow we analyzed all the episodes to look for masturbation related content and what we  found out is a must read for any concerned parent.

Nudity:
Each Walking Dead Episode has 11 nude scenes.  Many are gratuitous and do not further the storyline.

Lesbian Sex:
There is nothing more sickening or selfish than two attractive women having sexual relations with one another. Unfortunately in the Walking Dead most girls have constant lesbian relations.
tumblr_mockd8uYIQ1r3iafjo1_500 Redheads:
Redheads are a constant temptation to people who are abstaining from masturbation. Unfortunately the whole case of the walking dead seems to be full of supermodel redheads.

 

Breastfeeding:
Breastfeeding is wrong, especially when the kid is ten. In The Walking Dead, breastfeeding happens at all ages.
755259_1308878589689_fullHodor:
In the world of The Walking Dead the word Hodor means self-rape.
hodor-v2

 

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brother tugsaloot
brother tugsaloot
6 years ago

I am majoring in faith medicine/healing at B.L.U.F.F we have learnt that male masturbaters develope a condition known as “erectile glaucoma” they become literally blinded by their sinful act! My studies have reinforced why our mission is so important! In my spare time I have developed a new garment for lesser gendereds, quite inexpensive. All that is required is a burlap sack with a lonnie approved veiwing window. Praise.

FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
6 years ago

Hold the fuck up! Isn’t this Game of Thrones?!

brother tugsaloot
brother tugsaloot
6 years ago

No we do not promote Game of thrones as it promotes Masturbation. Everything posted on this holy net site is 98% accurate. Praise

John John
John John
6 years ago

Those pictures are from game of thrones. Leave it to religious people to be incapable of factual research

Seekers
Seekers
6 years ago
Reply to  John John

Leave it to an idiot like you to be incapable of realizing this is parody.

Christ Redeemer
Christ Redeemer
6 years ago
Reply to  John John

Oh John John you know nothing. You were probably so busy masturbating at the 17 minute mark of season 3 episode 4 that you didn’t realize what show you were watching

brother tugsaloot
brother tugsaloot
6 years ago

Silly Masturbator is suffering from erectile glaucoma and is blind to the truth.

Stupid site
Stupid site
6 years ago

If you are going to sling around your hateful site…..get it right. It’s Game of Thrones not Walking dead….

The Reverend Dr. Mike Hocksmall, DD
The Reverend Dr. Mike Hocksmall, DD
6 years ago

Jesus and Bro Lonnie please forgive me! Every time one of those wanton, sinful actresses shows her Satanic PLayground on the cables, I HODOR in my pants!

Mea culpa. Mea maxima culpa.

Jimmy
Jimmy
6 years ago

These are the same geniuses that confused john denver with bob denver…fap fap fap… oh i love mary ann’s body…

Faptain
Faptain
6 years ago

Praise the only lord and saviour! Faptain!

COCKHUNGER
COCKHUNGER
5 years ago

LOL, I can’t fucking tell if this is a real site dedicated to anti masturbation by religious wackjobs or if it is legitimately a joke website. I love it.

WTF?!?!
WTF?!?!
5 years ago

Omfg! The retard who wrote this must have had some sort of lobotomy -_-