Family Values

Ten Common Names of Masturbators

(StopmasturbationNOW)—A lot of parents don’t take into account masturbation when they name their child. However did you know that a persons name is directly related to how much they masturbate? Here is a list of the top 5 boys and top 5 girls names for masturbation.

Babies-NamesBoys:
Acqwon
Darkeem
Barack
Jaquon
Keywon

Girls:
Latifah
Shaniqua
Latoya
Meg
Sha’Nay Nay

Parents, it is important that you remember to conform to social norms when raising your children, starting at the name you give them.

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Tim
Tim
10 years ago

Amen

marjan393
10 years ago

that’s what you made of it. You have the dirty thought when it come to names.

Jimmy
Jimmy
10 years ago

Marjan393, you look kinda cute. Why don’t you post a picture of your breasts so we can all have some fun at tonight’s circle jerk?

Praise

Fart Nocker
Fart Nocker
10 years ago

Are you fucking nuts? Holy SHIT.

Andy Manning
10 years ago

Shuntayvious Primes-Willis . A REAL masturbator’s name.

Lucifer
Lucifer
10 years ago

IM FUCKING YOUR BITCH SHA’ NAY NAY CUM ALL OVER THAT JUICY ASS PUSSY PRAY FOR THAT BITCH

Pamela
Pamela
10 years ago

Wow ok racist much?

John
John
10 years ago

What’s better than yanking your cock

Alex
Alex
10 years ago

Wow. Much racism. Such idiocy.

ciumaca
ciumaca
10 years ago

Hey guys!!! You forget the medieval and antic rock stars, everpresent from then on, like jESUs aLLAh etc. I think they should fill that list.

Violet Minnelli
Violet Minnelli
9 years ago

This has got to be the most fucking hilarious thing I have ever read in my life… There is no way that anyone can take this as anything but satire and a joke…. And if it’s not that’s how I see it. Masturbation is freaking awesome!!!