Science

Masturbation Awakens Dormant Black Hole

(StopmasturbationNOW)—Masturbation has been a long proven top ten cause of disease, a gateway drug to rape,  and is the leading cause of homosexuality and erosion of family values. However we are just now realizing the damage that masturbation does to the environment.

After 26 years of keeping quiet, a monster black hole has finally woken up, and its high-energy bursts have been detected by faith scientists at the Wyoming Institute of Technology. This black hole is located in the Milky Way and is located in the constellation Cygnus.
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Dr Marcus Aldridge from WIT took time out of his busy schedule to answer some of our questions.

use1Q. Could semen emissions from foreigners aboard the International Space Station be what caused this awakening?

A .”Yes”

Q. Is there a reason to be alarmed?

A .”Yes”

Thank you to Dr Aldridge for his time.

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Kevin Hartzell
5 years ago

i don’t want to pray. but i will wank off to make this hole bigger.

Tor Hershman
5 years ago

Pullin’ yo’s pud be a most healthfully wise exercise .

Now, for horny religious leaders who want to phuck with ya,
well…..they say it ain’t, but(t)…..they be’z big time
liars [period] .

Alex
Alex
5 years ago

Quick everyone grab your sin stick. Fap with me. Open that sucker enough to consume Lonnie and his perverted followers.

John thomas
John thomas
5 years ago

Damn reading this just made me horny. Anyone else wet in here?

HornyAtheistPotatoMan
HornyAtheistPotatoMan
5 years ago

I told them Adeists their fiddle-wacken wass gounna caose sometin lik dis , HAHAHAHAHAHA Dem Stuopid Adeists gunna hat ta repent now or be Smoted by are eva lubin Lawd Jesus. Mae He Brn dem N da must lubin wae posssable 😀
– Atheists attempt at a Self righteous religious person whose beliefs are incredibly messed up ._.

Fuck This
5 years ago

I would love to see the research on this

IKA
IKA
5 years ago

This is some space station 13 bullshit.

Angela
Angela
5 years ago

The hell is a “Faith Scientist” XD

Jesus er Kawaii
Jesus er Kawaii
5 years ago

Ah faen, skal kose meg med Nekopara nå ass, hmmmm, skal faen meg gni agurken til jeg får brannsår.

Danknuggs
Danknuggs
5 years ago

The fuck…. just the fuck how retarded does this site get?