(StopMasturbationNow)—This Sunday is Super Bowl XLIX (49 for the uneducated). This year’s game pits Tom Brady and the New England Patriots against the defending Champion Seattle Mariners. The game will be broadcast live from University of Phoenix stadium in Phoenix AZ at 4:30 Mountain Standard Time.
America loves football, and football loves America. The Super Bowl has grown to be an event that transcends normal boundaries and involves people not normally considered to be fans. People across the nation gather in homes and have viewing parties complete with foods, friends, large screen televisions, and beverages. However, it seems that every year some minority ruins the party for everyone.
A few years ago it was Guatemalan Christina Aguilera who ruthlessly and purposefully butchered our National Anthem.
After the fact she was punished by Holy powers at the Grammy awards and was caused to increase her weight 300%
In 2004 it was Janet “Rhythm Zulu Nation” Jackson who exposed her milk sack spout to one of the largest television audiences ever. How can you keep minorities from wrecking your super Bowl? Here are 4 Ideas:
1, Sing your own National anthem.
2, Play a recording of Amy Grant singing the National Anthem.
3, Change the Brightness and Contrast on your television so minorities seem less offensive.
4, Listen to the Super Bowl on the radio and put Fox News on the TV on Mute.
Racist
Be charitable, in the manner of Lord Jesus Christ. Provide your local minorities with all your spare WalMart and McDonalds coupons. This will keep them mentally and physically occupied so that you don’t have to watch them do embarrassing things with beer and popcorn at your SuperBowl party.
I have a Final Solution, but I’m not sure if it’s Christly.
Lmao lmao lmao. This can’t be for real. Lol the mariners…. Omg
Okay so I’m french and educated so I know the opinions presented here do not represent what christian american people think. But seriously!? Some people are at this level of fundamentalism and ignorance!? Please do study the Bible in an intelligent way; there is no such thing as “self rape”. And, you , uneducated fundamentalist who reads this comment, stop with the racist comments against anyone who isn’t a “good ol’ american from the bible belt” All men are created equal and if ever somebody has been told one must marry someone of “the same race”, don’t listen to what… Read more »
Thank you so much. Haha, you are the one true clear individual on this website.
Wait I’m confused. How does anything you typed help keep minorities from ruining the Super Bowl?
“Make your own opinion about the world and stop relying solely on one “pastor’s” hate preachings.”
I dont like your anarchism. You in the froggieland might think like that, and this is the reason your women wear pants and your men makeup and skirts and there are countless other ways your WHITE civilization is destroyed, but you have no right to come teach others your pervert ways.