New Year’s resolutions can run a little hot and cold — and it turns out so can New Year’s runners.
The Resolution Run in Safford, AZ has opportunities for participants to experience both the freezing cold and the sweat-building heat of a 1-kilometer, 5-kilometer or 10-kilometer race.
And then there are the mud wrestling matches.
Wait. Mud wrestling?
“We’re kind of off the beaten path in Safford here, and we wanted to find some ways to bring more people out,” said Jacob Franklin, the event organizer. “First I thought of those Polar Bear events where people like to jump in freezing water, so we built a big, very cold Slip ‘n Slide. And after that Nelson’s Spas donated a couple hot tubs, so I started thinking – what’s more fun that a lot of teenagers wrestling in piping hot mud?”
Junior High participants from last year having fun in the mud
The Resolution Run is a yearly event in Safford, aimed at bringing about awareness of the evils of masturbation and keeping yourself pure for Lonnie. “Not only do these kids get to have fun and look downright sexy in the mud, they are also doing this as sort of a virginity pledge. And that’s important for all of us in the eyes of the Lord.”
The races are open to all teens and pre-teens at BLUFF, and are great for both experienced runners and new runners — along with families, said Doug Pinnick, who last year ran the 5K with his 8-year-old son.
“It’s a fun race,” Pinnick said. “It’s nice and family friendly. And it’s low key. There’s not a lot of crazy competitors. It’s a resolution run. It’s about starting new things and helping to end others.”
Newcomers are welcome to sign up on race day. Registration begins at 8 a.m.
In the first year, about 50 people participated. The second had about 125. Last year, it grew to 515 — and there’s room for plenty more this year, Franklin said.
The event also includes a swag bag with a T-shirt, medals for participants, a pancake brunch, live music, hot chocolate and a one day free pass from working in the fields.
“They’re mostly high school and Middle school kids, and I just adore them,” Franklin said. “They’re so polite, really helpful. These are great kids.”
“It’s really fun to just hang around and watch people when they wrestle,” Franklin said. “We actually get a lot of spectators, and those kids seem to enjoy themselves a lot. And I do mean a lot. We get a lot of adults from several counties out that come just to watch.”
I feel sorry for these kids, growing up in a super religious household. That is horrible.
go drink your own cum, fuckin >;}er
Next year, add some fasting and self-flagellation events. It will be great character building for the teens.
Lonnie, I would like to join in on the festivities, but I’m not a member of BLUFF, how can I join and get counciling for my sex with 2 lesser gendered Homogays? I would love to have an address to go to for joining BLUFF, and is there an initiation I should know about? I am also a person who quit secular college to go there.
Thank you based anon! Moot bless.
Go to bread Maury
I’m training my friend Brian from the Briarchest Home for Wayward Teens for next year’s event. He’s really REALLY good at wrestling, though we haven’t introduced the mud aspect just yet. I’m sure he’ll do fine. Though we are based out of Chandler, Arizona. I’m hoping that my loose association with BLUFF via my boss and through some well placed political “contributions” we can get Brian signed up. I think he runs good too.
I wasn’t sure in the beginning of the mud wrestling event would go over too well but seeing the smiles on the children’s faces as they shower afterwards erased any doubts that I had.