B.L.U.F.F.

Study Promoting Masturbation at Work Leads to Woman’s Pregnancy in “Neutral Gender” Restroom

Study Promoting Masturbation at Work Leads to Woman’s Pregnancy in “Neutral Gender” Restroom

Mark Sergeant, a senior lecturer in psychology at Nottingham Trent University, stated recently that a masturbation break would be “very effective at work” and a “great way to relieve tension and stress.” Psychologist and life coach Dr. Cliff Arnall agreed. “I would expect a masturbation policy to result in more […]

Firefighters battle to stop fire from destroying the house of God.

Youth Pastor Announces that Masturbation is Healthy and Does Not Make You Gay, Church Burns to Ground

Cason, TX is a small community, barely on the map and tucked deep inside NE Texas among pine trees and red clay earth. Proud people live there – good people of God, quick to lend a hand when help is needed and slow to change as the world passes them […]

Lonnie Childs Cleared as Suspect in Brutal Murder

Lonnie Childs Cleared as Suspect in Brutal Murder

SAFFORD, Ariz. – The FBI is now involved in the case of a murdered Lonvidian woman, found dead in her home early Tuesday morning. Safford police confirmed they are no longer considering Lonnie Childs to be a suspect in the case, and detectives have moved on to other suspects. “There’s […]

B.L.U.F.F. Male Masturbation Detection

B.L.U.F.F. Male Masturbation Detection

SMN -My dear friends in Christ through the Lonaldian Way. As you are well aware, the fight against the sin of self rape is an ongoing process, one that is never finished. The holy bible, being the most important reference on the topic of morality, contains certain instructions and responsibilities […]

by November 21, 2016 14 comments B.L.U.F.F.
The Pridemore Family, during happier times.

Youth Caught Self Raping

When Dana Pridemore of Evanston, IL climbed the stairs of her family’s two-story suburban home to  retire for the evening, all she had on her mind was her Harper’s Magazine and a few segments of the Tonight Show before turning in. She visited her daughter Sarah, who at the tender […]

by June 23, 2016 64 comments B.L.U.F.F., Family Values
Saint-Shaming is NOT Okay

Saint-Shaming is NOT Okay

Once upon a time, our white-male-cis-hetero Forefathers were instructed by God to construct a vessel of righteousness and flee the wicked and perverse generation of the Church of England. Anglicans had legalized marijuana and masturbation, thereby ushering in the long decline of Western civilization. The Puritans and/or Pilgrims sought to […]

Research Shows These Seven Hobbies Will Prevent Self-Rape

Research Shows These Seven Hobbies Will Prevent Self-Rape

For a long time, it was believed that God gave people a given level of abstinence and there was nothing anyone could to to prevent the sinful lust impulses that lead to masturbation. Scientists at Brother Lonnie University or Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.) through a grant awarded by the Foundation for […]

by August 31, 2015 17 comments B.L.U.F.F.
Annual 4 Corners Mass-Wedding Ceremony Set for September

Annual 4 Corners Mass-Wedding Ceremony Set for September

  Have you ever dreamed of participating in a mass-wedding ceremony performed by your favorite alternative religious leader?  What about joining, in holy matrimony, with four of your same-race assigned spouses at the same time?  If so, you will be glad to know that SMN Ministries has the Annual “4-Points […]

B.L.U.F.F. Safford Campus Announces Big Game Safari to Zimbabwe

B.L.U.F.F. Safford Campus Announces Big Game Safari to Zimbabwe

Safford, Arizona – Brother Lonnie’s University of FaithFacts (B.L.U.F.F.) has announced a special safari and big game hunting excursion to the African Nation of Zimbabwe. Special Services Recreational Director and long-time B.L.U.F.F. elder Thomas Downey announced the trip during a closed question-and-answer session between the B.L.U.F.F. Eldership and SMN Pledges […]

by July 31, 2015 4 comments Animals, B.L.U.F.F., World
Clearly, I mean, really (vomits)

Bananas: Satan’s Fruit

NATURE- SMNNN Throughout nature, we at B.L.U.F.F and The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow have found a plethora of disgusting natural objects that codify self-rape, but perhaps none is so blatantly obviously created to be a foul dingus as that demonic penis-resembling fruit: the banana. THE AGENDA The agenda of […]

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