B.L.U.F.F.

Clearly, I mean, really (vomits)

Bananas: Satan’s Fruit

NATURE- SMNNN Throughout nature, we at B.L.U.F.F and The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow have found a plethora of disgusting natural objects that codify self-rape, but perhaps none is so blatantly obviously created to be a foul dingus as that demonic penis-resembling fruit: the banana. THE AGENDA The agenda of […]

Masturbation Warning: Dear Abby

Masturbation Warning: Dear Abby

Jeanne Phillips, who writes the “Dear Abby” column, has come out as a self-rapist and proponent of the Satanic lifestyle as pushed on society by agents of Big Masturbation. In her latest column, Ms. Phillips comforted a despondent, guilt riddled masturbator, Her advice included the statement, “…masturbation is normal. It […]

The Anti-Masturbation Go-Board ™

The Anti-Masturbation Go-Board ™

SMNNN- (B.L.U.F.F PRODUCT RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT) Hello Faithfriends, Chosen Normals and Pledged Self-Chastes, and our allies! Today we are pleased to present the answer to all your portable anti-masturbation needs, the newly unveiled Anti-Masturbation Go-Board ™, the collapsible restraint system designed by the same people who designed the Anti-Masturbation Cross […]

by June 28, 2015 22 comments B.L.U.F.F., Premier, Science, Self-Rape Prevention
Study: Masturbation Residues found on 99.7% of Discarded iPhones

Study: Masturbation Residues found on 99.7% of Discarded iPhones

B.L.U.F.F. SAFFORD AZ – Mobile phones and devices have become an increasing fixture in American life during the last decade or two. It seems that a person can go nowhere without finding citizens fiddling away with their noses in a cellular phone or tablet electronic device. Pastors and Ministers have […]

by June 26, 2015 3 comments B.L.U.F.F.
Are All Internet Trolls Masturbators?

Are All Internet Trolls Masturbators?

B.L.U.F.F CAMPOUND (SAFFORD, AZ) Workers at the B.L.U.F.F Campound and Uranium Mines in Safford, Arizona announced today that they have proven that all internet trolls are horrible, Godless, masturbating, heathens. In an exhausting study of internets around the globe, a 16 year inquiry finally ended with the unfortunate suicide of […]

by May 29, 2015 5 comments B.L.U.F.F., Compound News, Lifestyle, Lonnie Childs
Masturbation: Offensive Across All Seven Deadly Sins

Masturbation: Offensive Across All Seven Deadly Sins

Safford, AZ – For years, the Stop Masturbation Now! Ministries has warned of and demonstrated the evils of Masturbation. The absolute harm done when one inflicts self rape activity on his or her soul when finger dancing the skin flute or spelunking the sin cave is incontrovertible, but still, agents […]

The Real Holocaust Happened in Your Pants Last Night

The Real Holocaust Happened in Your Pants Last Night

[Editor’s Note: This post was originally written on April 20th] Today, as millions around the world celebrate the birth of Adolf Hitler, I am reminded of the genocide that is happening right under our noses. Literally. Each day in America, there are an estimated 250 million acts of male masturbation, […]

Lonnie Childs Releases 10 Point Plan to Address Compound Overcrowding

Lonnie Childs Releases 10 Point Plan to Address Compound Overcrowding

(StopMasturbationNOW)—The following is a release from Dr Lonnie Childs to the SMN fellowship… 4/21/2015 Greetings my friends. It is hard to believe we are already one third through 2015. These have been difficult yet promising times. The world has never seen so much evil and danger, yet those same evils and […]

by April 21, 2015 3 comments B.L.U.F.F., Compound News
Medieval Manuscript Reveals Hidden Cure for Modern-Day Masturbation Superbug!

Medieval Manuscript Reveals Hidden Cure for Modern-Day Masturbation Superbug!

Chalk up another V for TCM! Traditional Christian medicine has done it again, succeeding where scLIEnce and phallopathic medicine have failed. This past week, what is arguably the biggest FaithFind in centuries was announced while the LIEberal media and ungodly practitioners the world over could only bite their lips and […]

Top Five Most Masturbatory Vegetables

Top Five Most Masturbatory Vegetables

B.L.U.F.F (SMNNN) The brave and dedicated monks and faithscientists at B.L.U.F.F. Campound have been working hundreds of man-hours to classify even the most mundane objects as potential masturbation aids, which naturally, can and will cause Masturbation Bad AIDS. Here is a list of the most offensive vegetables our crack team […]

by March 23, 2015 8 comments B.L.U.F.F.
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