Premier

Brother Lonnie Childs Declares The Ten Commandments Now The Eleven Commandments

Brother Lonnie Childs Declares The Ten Commandments Now The Eleven Commandments

B.L.U.F.F CAMPOUND, SAFFORD AZ (SMNNN) Brother Lonnie Childs revealed today, that God himself, in all his Godly splendor and wisdom, decreed unto Brother Lonnie the command to augment the traditional Ten Commandments, and replace them throughout the Christian world with the New Eleven Commandments. The Eleven Commandments remain largely unchanged […]

by November 18, 2015 3 comments History, Lonnie Childs, Morals, Premier, Trending, World
The Anti-Masturbation Go-Board ™

The Anti-Masturbation Go-Board ™

SMNNN- (B.L.U.F.F PRODUCT RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT) Hello Faithfriends, Chosen Normals and Pledged Self-Chastes, and our allies! Today we are pleased to present the answer to all your portable anti-masturbation needs, the newly unveiled Anti-Masturbation Go-Board ™, the collapsible restraint system designed by the same people who designed the Anti-Masturbation Cross […]

by June 28, 2015 22 comments B.L.U.F.F., Premier, Science, Self-Rape Prevention
New Mascot Unveiled to Help Teach Mexican Kids The Sins Of Masturbation

New Mascot Unveiled to Help Teach Mexican Kids The Sins Of Masturbation

(StopMasturbationNOW)—After the fantastic success of our Fappy the Anti-Masturbation Dolphin program we had a lot of requests for him to speak to many Mexican areas of our country and around the world, the problem is as everyone knows, dolphins don’t speak Mexican. So thanks to a $50,000 research study that […]

by March 31, 2015 8 comments Foreigners, Premier, Press Release
Win a Stop Masturbation Now AR-15 Rifle!

Win a Stop Masturbation Now AR-15 Rifle!

SAFFORD, ARIZ. — Did you know Stop Masturbation Now Ministries Inc. is GIVING AWAY a fully semi-automatic AR-15 assault rifle? Yes! For a limited time, you can enter the official SMN Rifle Raffle to win a brand new high-tech tactical Armalite AR assault gun!   This Colt AK-15 assault submachine rifle […]

Real Men Don’t Masturbate

Real Men Don’t Masturbate

There have been many outrageous changes in the roles of the sexes over the past 60 years. Militant feminism, internet pornographics and dangerous minorities have forever corrupted the core family values of our great nation. As a result, the expectation of men and the standard we are held to has morphed a […]

by September 11, 2014 6 comments Lifestyle, Morals, Premier, Trending
HomoGay Conversion Therapist Nikita Shalavin curing Ebola Viris Sufferers.

BREAKING NEWS: BLUFF Discovers Cure for Ebola Virus

By TheRev Leroy Jenkins SAFFORD, AZ (BLUFF Press, LLC) BLUFF Sexologist and lead HomoGay™ Conversion Therapist Nikita Shalavin has stumbled upon a cure for the Bad Ebola Zaire Virus using FiathFact™ proven methods that also cure HomoGayness™, The Bad AIDS, and Mental Retards.  Ebola virus disease (EVD) or Ebola hemorrhagic fever (EHF) is […]

by August 2, 2014 9 comments Premier
Lonnie’s Followers Use Weird Trick to Achieve FaithGasm

Lonnie’s Followers Use Weird Trick to Achieve FaithGasm

  SAFFORD, ARIZ. — Here at Stop Masturbation Now, we eschew the practice of ejaculatory orgasm as a wasteful and sinful release. Our mission is to educate you of its negative physical and spiritual consequences. Ever since Onan spilled his seed upon the ground, men have been shooting putty with […]

Declare your Independence from The Sin of Masturbation

By: TheRev Leroy Jenkins Miami, FL. In 2004 most people had given up on Fanny Diddle, homeless, destitute, addicted to pot-weed injections, doing bong hits of ellis dee, listening to Nickelback, and self raping for Snow Mexican Tourist on South Beach. She was a lost cause and written off by […]

by July 4, 2014 31 comments Premier
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