B.L.U.F.F. / Compound News

Lonnie Childs Releases 10 Point Plan to Address Compound Overcrowding

(StopMasturbationNOW)—The following is a release from Dr Lonnie Childs to the SMN fellowship…


Greetings my friends. It is hard to believe we are already one third through 2015. These have been difficult yet promising times. The world has never seen so much evil and danger, yet those same evils and dangers have been sending people to us at an unprecedented rate. We are growing! Unfortunately we are also getting a little overcrowded. Our Safford Compound is a 110% capacity and our new brothers and sisters are actually having to wait to join us. Other areas are also full. Our nationwide small group session program titled Congregations United by Lonnie’s Teachings are now available in every state and the requests for host training are backlogged by 8 months. I ask you to all look at these as not problems but opportunities. I come to you with a ten step program that I wish to be implemented immediately so we can continue to help the world and fulfill my mission.

Step 1.  Collect and use data to inform a rational, and cost-effective use of compound spaces.
While we have been accepting of all species, we may want to limit housing to those that can help us further our mission. Maintaining both gender and normal quotas will assist us in growth potential for the future.

Step 2. Review and reform the SMN investment process as a whole.
There is no disputing the benefits of investing in certain markets. Tobacco, gambling, chemical, petroleum, and pharmaceutical have all reaped huge returns for us in the past. I am not proposing that we abandon any of these as it would be irresponsible to do so, however I am instructing our financial team to set aside a certain amount of investments to gain large real estate holdings in specific areas which I will cover later.

Step 3. Expand the Safford Compound
We definitely need to take care of our home base first. Through very specific tactics we have been able to acquire 7500 acers adjacent to the northwest section of the Safford compound. We are at this time convincing certain state entities to rapidly approve construction permits for a full compound expansion to be completed no later than summer of 2018. This will improve our compound size by over 213%. In the expansion there will be low and middle density housing, a new primary school, beach volleyball courts, gardens, and the largest gun range in North America.

Step 4. Decreased Reliance on Others
For us to grow and expand, we need to be able to provide for our own energy, food, and security needs. We are implementing immediately a three year plan to increase our self reliance of all three of these items.

Step 5. Launch Construction of 4 New Compounds.
Through Real Estate investments we will be opening 4 new Compounds. Idaho, Wyoming, Kansas, and Ohio. Each Compound will have its own dual role specialty in addition to being a live in compound. Idaho ill serve as a weapons training center. Wyoming will specialize in education. Kansas will specialize in genetic research and farming. And Ohio will handle manufacturing. Through these new centers we plan to be able to handle a compound population of 144,000 by 2021.

Step 6. Expand Educational Opportunities I plan to create a new Northern University of Faith facts within our Wyoming Compound and enter into a partnership with the Wyoming institute of technology. Also I here by direct the director of B.L.U.F.F  to immediately get us into the business of distance degree or at home learning.

Step 7. Expand recruitment through athletics. Athletics has always held a special place in my heart.  As many of you know I was a high school wrestler  and continue to be a huge fan of girls High School Volleyball.  I plan to have our N.U.F.F and B.L.U.F.F campuses field competitive collegiate athletic teams and hopefully join the NCAA. There will be more specific about these teams soon. Someday our boys will be winning the Heisman trophy.

Step 8. Continue to develop corporate relationships. From Koch Industries to Monsanto, we wish to more heavily get involved with our corporate partners. Corporate partnerships lead to grants which lead to expansion. Expansion is key for us in the next century

Step 9. Increased special interest lobbying.
Big masturbation has its hands deep in some politician’s pockets. However there remain several individuals and states that remain sympathetic to our cause and still interested in our money. Because these politicians are rare, we need to get a hold of them and get them firmly entrenched on our side.

Step 10. Foreign Expansion
I know there is heavy debate as to whether foreigners are worth the time and bother. And our 2016 summit on that matter will definitely shed some light on the subject. However some foregners sit on large pockets of resources that were obviously meant for American use and consumption. Alberta For Example has more oil than Saudi Arabia, Did you know that? And Canada also has one third of all the worlds’ fresh water. We definitely need to bring family values to the north and by years end I plan to have at least a small permanent presence in Edmonton Alberta.
Stay vigilant my Brothers and Sisters. Good times are ahead.


Lonnie Childs

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El Geeko Mondo
El Geeko Mondo
6 years ago

Bigger settlement, easier target from orbit.

6 years ago
Reply to  El Geeko Mondo

Mexicans in Space. R.O.F.L.O.L

Nigel Covington
6 years ago

Dear El Geeko Mondo, I wouldn’t worry about settlement expansion and growth in terms of targeting these facilities from space. You see back during the Reagan presidency Father Lonnie was the religious & spiritual advisor for the White House. The president was developing the Star Wars program for the country and our loving father Lonnie was tight with the president. Though still classified today, there are some in the highest echelons of the holy order who know Reagan had the Star Wars Defense System installed at every BLUFF and SMN facilities believing it top priority to protect God’s work here… Read more »