Deaths Lead to Job Openings for Lucky Ladies at B.L.U.F.F.

As many of you know, we have recently lost Sister Keegan to an unfortunate accident involving a hay bailer and a feral hog. We all loved AnnMarie dearly, and her presence will be greatly missed in the daily activities on the Campound. AnnMarie was scheduled to be assigned to a fitting husband soon – so look to your daughters for volunteers to take her place.
In addition, Sister O-Reilly has also gone missing – we are assuming that she has been brainwashed and taken away from the Campound by She Who We Shall Not Call By Name. That person’s website has been getting a tremendous amount of activity in recent weeks, and we know that a recent attempt to infiltrate our community was planned in part by her and an associate within the Campound. We are assuming that Sister O-Reilly was the culprit. A thorough search for her remains has been scheduled, although all men are busy at the moment with other responsibilities.
However – Due to the recent passing of several of our citizens here at BLUFF, new and exciting opportunities for advancement are open to female applicants. These positions will be open until filled, although we expect them to be picked up almost immediately – so act quickly!
At this time, we are looking for female workers in the potato fields in the South region, and someone to assist the Sisters in fertilizer preparation by training to be a Fecal Bag Holder. This position is an exciting opportunity for any female on the Campound, as it is considered one of the highest paid positions ( .13 cents an hour.)
Please stop by the offices and pick up an application today if you or someone you know is interested.

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Matron Danielle Nekoosak
Matron Danielle Nekoosak
6 years ago

Dear Jesus, Joseph, and Lonnie! I wish I were 15 again, all young, able-bodied, fertile, and nubile, so I could apply for,this honest Christian work and be assigned to a young man in his 40s or 50s. Youth truly is wasted on the young. God bless a few of you!

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
6 years ago

You need to pay more than that or it’s illegal, and I’m so happy another religious bigot is dead!