Faces of Masturbation

FACES OF MASTURBATION SERIES, SUCCESS STORIES: “Michael J.”

“Michael J.” was once a ferocious self-rapist as evidenced in his “before” photo.  Note the vacant eyes, the grotesquely bulbous nose, the self-righteous smirk and the anti-establishment afro hairstyle.  Michael was just another hell-bound masturbator, destined to spend eternity as Satan’s personal sock puppet.  Look at him NOW!  After meeting Lonnie Childs and taking the STOP Masturbation NOW pledge of self-celibacy, Michael’s soul is as clean and pure as his skin!  It’s a non-masturbation miracle!  Praise!  Where before Michael was selfishly obsessed with stroking his sin-sword, he now reaches out and touches others, especially the children!  Let us all learn from “Michael J.’s” story and STOP Masturbation NOW and FOREVER!

4 4 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
12 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
jhghfjnbc
jhghfjnbc
8 years ago

You guys are complete idiots… or maybe this is all a sarcastic joke (i hope for the latter)

tubby McFat fuck
tubby McFat fuck
8 years ago

Dear god, if your real please stop these horrible people, k bye.

Cathy Redmond
8 years ago

Masturbation is not a joke. Praise.

Jabba
Jabba
4 years ago
Reply to  Cathy Redmond

being a idiot is not a joke too.

Brother Nidwin
Brother Nidwin
8 years ago

One more saved through the true faith and letting go the self-rape once and for all. Praise. Otherwise, while we’re at it. Is there any news from B.L.U.F.F about the shaving to avoid the spread of the FLEG (flea gay), promoted by Big Masturbator in their depraved movie business?

Father Joakim.
Father Joakim.
8 years ago

If you listen closely to MJ`s music,you can hear him stroking the sin-sword,multiple times and shamelessly enjoying it. His music needs to be plucked apart,and cencored for future listeners in Christ.

Ted Cruize
Ted Cruize
8 years ago

Even so, Lord Jesus come quickly!!

Ted Cruize
Ted Cruize
8 years ago

Haloluya, Jesus is coming!!

sanj1235
8 years ago

I hope MJ wasn’t hooked badly on masturbation- do you know what age he discovered it, he was still one of the most talented dancers, how could he fall into Satan’s vice, glad you saved him- how did he make contact with you, does Prince masturbate a-lot too- I have a fear since he turned 13, and I saw a picture with him and his dad at 12 years old, when he was going through puberty, I think he must have been getting many erections and started experimenting?

Rosey Palm Andrew
Rosey Palm Andrew
8 years ago

It’s easy to stop masturbating after death

ugh
ugh
8 years ago

“the vacant eyes, the grotesquely bulbous nose, the self-righteous smirk and the anti-establishment afro hairstyle?!”

are you guys fucking kidding me??!

is this a joke?!

Tittysaurus
Tittysaurus
8 years ago

“Haloluya, Jesus is coming!!”
Several times actually. Jesus banged hookers like it was his last day on earth for YEARS. Too bad the church decided to remove that little detail from the bible… But! Jobs book is still pretty interesting. Do they still have the father and daughters superfucksies in there?