Family Values

Family Dies in House Fire Caused by Masturbating Teen

San Francisco House Fire Claims Five Lives

By Nigel J. Covington III, The Covington Report

(SAN FRANCISCO) – An early morning fire broke out shortly after midnight Tuesday morning killing a family of five. The fire occurred at the Bryant home at 1561 San Juan Rd. in that sewer dump of San Francisco.
The fire started in one of the bedrooms and quickly spread to other areas of the house according to Fire department Capt. John Montorello, who added it took three fire companies to get the fire under control. The house was completely destroyed.
The victims have been identified as Bruce Bryant, 38, Kimberly Bryant, 34, Billy Bryant, 14, Jennifer Bryant, 12, and Breanna Bryant, age 8.

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Capt. Montorello, said fire investigators believe the fire was accidentally started by the Bryant’s 14 year-old son Billy. Billy appears to have been viewing filthy and vile pornographic images of people engaging in unspeakable acts of sins of the flesh by candlelight while masturbating in his bedroom.
One of Billy’s friends from school admitted they’d found a stash of pornographic magazines the day before while playing in the woods near the Bryant’s home.
Investigators believe the boy was vivaciously masturbating after his family had fallen asleep and at some point, likely on a down-stroke Billy unknowingly knocked over the candle which caused the window drapes to burst into flames that quickly spread to other areas of the house. The case remains under investigation.
The loss of a family of five is tragic but all the warning signs and portents of doom were present. Mom and dad both worked for two liberal Silicon Valley social media giants. The Bryant’s lived in the Godless, Democrat-run, liberal, shit-hole of San Francisco and none of the Bryant’s were registered members of any church in the city.
San Francisco was once a beautiful bustling international port city, but today it’s a Democrat-run, filthy, disease-infected, shantytown overrun by the homeless, illegals and other burdens on society who’ve taken the city over.
The facts are statistics show an alarmingly higher rate of incidents of God’s vengeance; such as the Bryant house fire and tragic loss of life being recorded in most left-winged, liberal, Democrat-run cities and states around the country.
Masturbation is rampant in California, Florida, New York and in that greasy shit-hole of Chicago. Only in these regions where masturbation has become so alarmingly high do you see God’s vengeance coming so swiftly and having such unimaginable and dire consequences.
Make no mistake about it you never see an angry God wielding such swift and harsh punishments in America’s heartland where God’s people live in harmony and work together.
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Jesus
Jesus
2 years ago

FUCK YOU Wankers!!

christians r dumb
1 year ago
Reply to  Jesus

Dumbass

Foreskin_Digester
Foreskin_Digester
10 months ago
Reply to  Jesus

BRUH HE NUT SO HARD HIS HOUSE BURNT DOWN

Matt Milton
Matt Milton
2 years ago

This website is for real? What a joke

Ryan SQ Storm
Ryan SQ Storm
2 years ago

Child molestation. It’s preists who are engaging in most of this shit! Come on! If god hates masturbation so much, then why do men who don’t masturbate have a higher risk of developing testicular cancer? The more fapping the better. Not only that, but instead of focusing o the aspect of don’t play with fire, you instead focus on the political aspects which had little to do with it! What if it was 2 married consenting adults attemping to conceive a child? It’s the fire part, not the fapping part you should be worried about!

Fuck this dumb ass website you motherfucking christians are fucking idiots go kill yourselves will ya
Fuck this dumb ass website you motherfucking christians are fucking idiots go kill yourselves will ya
1 year ago
Reply to  Ryan SQ Storm

I agree, there are some fucking dumb idiots in this world, this website won’t stop masturbation since there are some dumb fucking people who think masturbation is a sin when it really isn’t.

Boy Juice
1 year ago

You guys are idiots for writing paragraph long rebuttals to a troll, but okay.

Ryan SQ Storm
Ryan SQ Storm
2 years ago

Also, atheists are less likely than christians to commit crimes. Less than 1% of the prison population is atheist. (Compared to the 15% of Americans that are)

Jesus was black
Jesus was black
2 years ago

Jesus was black

Moe Lester
Moe Lester
8 months ago

I masterbate what should I do

Fuck Your Website
Fuck Your Website
1 year ago

Fuck off alt-right Nazi piece of shit. You’re the people who are ruining this country, fucking slobs.

Craig J. Davies
Craig J. Davies
1 year ago

I pray in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth that Masturbation comes to an end in America and my own country Great Britain, both countries that were once great nations because the majority of the population believed in God, now Christians are sadly becoming a minority, which isn’t surprising since God’s word predicted this. (1 Timothy 4:1-3). Before my conversion to Christianity, I used to masturbate and I used to enjoy it, there was a time when I could never get enough of it, but now I don’t enjoy it anymore, so I stopped doing it. Whenever I had… Read more »

ZombXGaming
ZombXGaming
10 months ago

This is so fucking fake, where the FUCK in the BIBLE does it say ANYTHING about AMERICA, AMERICA didn’t exist until more than 2000 years later

Josh
Josh
1 year ago

Is there a link to the news story? I live in the Bay Area and can’t find it. Googled “San Juan Avenue fire San Francisco august 14 2018”

ZombXGaming
ZombXGaming
10 months ago

This entire website is so fucking fake. Nigel, your picture is the head of the third google images result for “man in suit”

Turbo Masturbator
Turbo Masturbator
2 years ago

this is sarcasm right?

Trundlebum
Trundlebum
2 years ago

Whatever gives you that idea?

Aaron
Aaron
2 years ago

I am ready to end my sins as a masturbator

ZombXGaming
ZombXGaming
10 months ago
Reply to  Aaron

Ok, Boomer

Ryan SQ Storm
Ryan SQ Storm
2 years ago

He thinks it’s sarcasm because your views are so far right it makes caesar and trump look like liberals!

Nigga nut
Nigga nut
8 months ago
Reply to  Ryan SQ Storm

This is trash

trackback

[…] Family Dies in House Fire Caused by Masturbating Teen […]

Trundlebum
Trundlebum
2 years ago

Let this be a warning. Never let your children read by a naked flame…..

Jesus was black
Jesus was black
2 years ago

Jesus was black

Turbo Thruster
1 year ago

And unicorns have rainbow coloured manes. Why are we discussing the colours of fictional caracters?

Fuck Jesus
11 months ago
Reply to  Turbo Thruster

Are all Christians Dumb like the people who run this fucking website?

yo so
yo so
1 year ago

I’m really hoping this bitch was made completely ironically. Damn, you really going to go for the claim that this house fire was doomed to happen because the family thinks a little differently for you? I’m sure house fires aren’t just reserved for democrats, but okay sweetie. The bible is completely silent on the subject of masturbation. For all you know, god can be jerking it right now to some anime titties.

Dr Dolittle
Dr Dolittle
1 year ago

I masturbated so frequently last week that my penis is sore. Can anyone recommend a good lube I can use? I’m a Christian and I’m really trying my best to cut down my self abuse, and I’m down from 2-3 times a day to just once each weekday and twice of a weekend. I also now only look at Christian porn, ie porn where I can verify that the actors / participants are Christian and when I ejaculate I say a little prayer (“oh Jesus” or something like that). I’ve also cut way down on my consumption of gay porn… Read more »

Turbo Thruster
1 year ago
Reply to  Dr Dolittle

Please don’t stop. Masturbation is healthy. There’s literally no proof it’s unhealthy

it’s healthy to masturbate, ppl
it’s healthy to masturbate, ppl
1 year ago

there’s multiple full-ass reasons i left the church in the first place and the absolute malice for porn and masturbation was definitely one of them. i honestly cannot tell if this is sarcasm but the whole of this site seems so fake. anyway i love ringing the devil’s doorbell almost every single day. masturbation is a healthy and HUMAN thing to do. y’all are so weird.

I agree with it's heatlthy to masturbate, ppl
I agree with it's heatlthy to masturbate, ppl
1 year ago

All you dumb christan motherfuckers are so fucking retarded. I thought this website was a joke, and still do. FUCK YOU FAGGOTS! I’m fucking catholic and I fucking jack off every day! You can’t do shit!

Turbo Thruster
1 year ago

We’re all proud of you, pal 😀 keep up the great work and thrust that cock into space! 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

A god fearing man
A god fearing man
1 year ago

The End times are approaching we will be seeing more and more of these events in the future. All masturbators will be removed and be sent to where they belong.

Turbo Thruster
1 year ago

In heaven, that is

Cledicks
Cledicks
1 year ago

Yo fuck this website and ur lame ass Nigel whatever the fuck ur last name is

Margaret Sanger
Margaret Sanger
1 year ago

“No woman can call herself free who does not own and control her body. No woman can call herself free until she can choose consciously to make pleasure on her own terms” ~ 1920

Sra Amazing
1 year ago

Por que isso existe?

The one who yeets the meat
Reply to  Sra Amazing

what you’re saying is that if I masturbate I’ll be able to shoot fire out of my hands? wow that’s sick!

But for real now. There is no real proof of masturbation being the reason a house burnt down. Unless someone gives me a link to an actual news article about that incident, this right here is even worse than masturbation (according to the seven deadly sins). You are lying about someone’s death just to use it as an example for insane claims.

the one who meats the yeet
the one who meats the yeet
10 months ago

Even then, it wasn’t the fact that he was masturbating. The masturbation was totally irrelevant to the actual news story.

Unidentified Christian Dad
Unidentified Christian Dad
1 year ago

This is a very christian website that could help you fight those sinners.
(It’s pretty good, My son stopped masturbating since i showed him the website)
http://e621.net/

The one who yeets the meat

you, my friend, are truly a hero

Gay 16 year old who believed in god until he was abused by a female christian headmaster.

I cannot find any articles pertaining to this story anywhere on the internet… Not one. As a once religious man, who is on the right of the politucal spectrum, I can say that you and you jedgemental attutude is utterly shameful to all those you claim to represent. I find it amusing that you claim to live by the word of god, but you are more than happy to blaspheme, judge, and hate your fellow man. You, sir, need to find god, because I don’t believe you have found the love that christianity used to proffess. But more importantly, you… Read more »

Nigger
Nigger
1 year ago

Really? No!

Masturbation is good
Masturbation is good
1 year ago

Fucking idiots. Masturbation is actually healthy for you. I even learned about it in 5th grade. Its part of human nature. So you should’ve thought twice before making this dumb fucking website. Making a website like this won’t stop people from masturbating.

GayFaggotDickLover69
GayFaggotDickLover69
1 year ago

im hoping this is a meme website lol, masturbation is definitely healthy, prevents prostate cancer for men aswell

GayFaggotDickLover69
GayFaggotDickLover69
1 year ago

I looooove masturbating, especially taking it in the ass with my vibrating and rotating dildo, just makes me cum all over the floor, but my most amazing jack off session is when I came on the bible

Yeetus that feetus
Yeetus that feetus
1 year ago

Lmao came here from a reddit post thinking i would find a good meme website, found this shit XD I wonder if the poor, misled sod who made this website still updates it? I mean just look at the wikipedia article for masturbation if you want to see the scientific community’s (clearly a much smarter community than you) opinions on it. The overwhelming consensus is that it is a normal thing. Apparently babies have strayed from the path of God at five months old, because they are known to play with that part just the same as they would their… Read more »

christians r dumb
1 year ago

Dumbest bullshit that I’ve ever seen.

Apolonia
Apolonia
1 year ago

I am 100 percent convinced this is a troll website

i love god and jesus
i love god and jesus
1 year ago

Well I don’t think men would have a higher risk of Jack Elation cancer thing? I mean I have ejaculated in my sleep so if guys do that then it’s healthier and they won’t get ejaculation cancer well technically injaculating in your sleep is more cleaner in God’s way maybe. so like I said just keep on getting hard in your bed and you’ll be fine peace out God bless.

Austin
Austin
10 months ago

*Cough* satire *cough*. This is an excellent article, thank you for shining light on this epidemic.

Schnitzelficker99
Schnitzelficker99
10 months ago

This is the worst website I have quite possibly ever seen. That people are really even considering there is a link between masturbation and hell is so over exaggeratingly ridiculous, that I want to take a fork and rip my own eyes out. How uneducated can someone be, to even think, that America is a blessed and holy country in the first place. Seriously you should feel ashamed blaming the death of a family on some teenager. You should feel ashamed using a tragic event to promote your anti-foreign anti democratic and trump-promoting ideology. It is seriously sad, that some… Read more »

EarRapeWaifu SkinnyPenis
EarRapeWaifu SkinnyPenis
10 months ago

I am lonnie childs. All his work has helped me so much in saving me from my own disgusting acts. I can finally focus on my wife, raising my children and worshipping jesus again. Right now i am an activist against masturbation and i teach young children about the phisycal and mental dangers of masturbation. Thoughts and prayers to everyone, Waifu out.

Bean Soup
10 months ago

Please help, how do I stop myself from touching Satan’s shifter? One minute I am in park and the next I am in drive with the pedal to the floor! Please pray for my testicles to produce less natural hormones so I might stop wanting to masturbate.
I wonder why God made it feel so good when I bust a nut? Alll hale jebus, keep your hands to nodody, unless you are married , in which case she doesn’t have any rights in the eyes of god so do whatever you want.

A. Hole
A. Hole
7 months ago

Sooooo none of these details flesh out. There’s no records of a fire consuming an entire family in San Francisco or a Captain Montorello. Maybe stick to real reports about stuff instead of fear mongering.