Lonnie Childs

Lonnie Childs To Sue HBO Over ‘Game Of Thrones’ Scene

Brother Lonnie Childs is seeking damages after the heathens at HBO have reportedly bastardized a “reenactment” of a private Lonvidian custom in their hit series Game of Thrones. The episode in question, the “season finale” of Season 5, entitled ‘Mother’s Mercy’, features a scene with the character Cersei that would hit too close to come to any devout follower of Brother Lonnie.

“None of us have seen it,” explains Brother Foster Good. “The Brothers we task with scouring ‘popular culture’ for legal violations could not get the HBO video services to work on the world wide web access we have here at Safford.” Brother Good says that several of the brothers took to the popular Bing™ internet search service to learn about the current season of Game of Thrones.

Game of Thrones character Cersei Lannister

Game of Thrones character Cersei Lannister

“The ‘walk of shame’ that the character Cersei must do is almost an exact recreation of a long-standing Lonvidian custom that the Brothers do when the lesser gendered members of our alternative religious organization fail to meet their obligations to their spouses or Brother Lonnie Childs, himself,” says Brother Good. “Brother Lonnie was whipped up into such a rage after learning of HBO’s theft of our culture, that we were worried that some non-normals had entered the campound. Thankfully, in a way, it was just His reaction to masturbation culture taking something noble and twisting it into masturbation fodder.”

Brother Good claims that the custom being stolen by Game of Thrones is the practice called “The Shaming”.

“We force lesser gendereds to do ‘The Shaming’ when we’ve caught them slipping on their vows. However, unlike the sick masturbators at HBO, we do not make the lesser gendereds strip nude,” adds Brother Good. “We take them fully clothed into greater Safford, Arizona and follow them around shouting “Shame” over and over again while the disgusting citizens of Safford throw fecal matter at the lesser gendered, expose themselves to her and typically masturbate wildly in front of her.”

Brother Good purports that ‘The Shaming’ works “nearly every time” and reminds the “lesser gendered that they are reducing themselves to the level of a masturbating beast and that is not tolerated by Brother Lonnie”.

“‘The Shaming’ is a private custom and we feel that a writer for the series must have been in Safford, Arizona during one of the events; likely throwing their own feces at one of our lesser gendereds,” concludes Brother Good. “Brother Lonnie is seeking to have the show removed from the air entirely for their numerous transgressions and feels that we finally have the leverage in order to do so.”

HBO has yet to respond to any of my emails asking for their response to Brother Lonnie’s allegations.

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Cliff Burton
Cliff Burton
5 years ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E90i6IOvQOs You think your life’s so grand You don’t believe a word you say Your feet aren’t on the ground You let your life just slip away Just so uncertain of your body and your soul The promises you make, your mind so blank And then you lose control, then you lose control! I never was the one, the one to say the things you say Never seem to wonder what you say You think you’ve got your life completely in control You’ve got a lot to learn, The bridge you burn is gonna take its toll!!! Pay the burnt… Read more »

Cliff Burton
Cliff Burton
5 years ago
Reply to  Cathy Redmond

I was not aiming at my fellow kind, but at you.

Pekoe Baggins
Pekoe Baggins
5 years ago
Reply to  Cliff Burton

I did some research on this Satanic band Testament. Their lead singer is some fat Injun called Chuck Berry. Injuns should not sing in bands. They should shut up, stay in their reservations/casinos and be thankful to Godly white Christian men that they are even allowed to stay in the USA.

Cliff Burton
Cliff Burton
5 years ago
Reply to  Pekoe Baggins

Anthrax doesn’t approve at all, and it’s chuck billy.

Gandalf
Gandalf
5 years ago
Reply to  Cliff Burton

Iron Maiden wouldn’t approve either:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=geHLdg_VNww

I would like to sincerely apologize on behalf of Mr. Baggins over there. He is a corrupted hobbit, who still clings staunchly to the old, draconian ways. He smokes tea leaves, so his mind is not where it is supposed to be. Frodo regards him as that “crazy uncle I wish not to speak of”.

Here, have more rear-kicking Heavy Metal:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=hMcBOvOuhoY

Cliff Burton
Cliff Burton
5 years ago
Reply to  Gandalf

I’m a thrash bassist, but power metal is true fucking metal.

Jésus Montoyá
Jésus Montoyá
5 years ago

“Jesus Of Suburbia” [Part 1] I’m the son of rage and love The Jesus of Suburbia From the bible of none of the above On a steady diet of Soda pop and Ritalin No one ever died for my sins in hell As far as I can tell At least the ones I got away with And there’s nothing wrong with me This is how I’m supposed to be In a land of make believe That don’t believe in me Get my television fix Sitting on my crucifix The living room or my private womb While the Mom’s and Brad’s… Read more »

Bill
Bill
5 years ago

Did I catch a masterbater? ou’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You and the stranger both like roleplay. You: Hi Stranger: dude here You: 23 F Russia Stranger: oh hi! Lou here, 29 You: Nice Stranger: what,s your name, love? You: Eriska Stranger: Sexy! You: Thank you You: This is me by the way http://i1155.photobucket.com/albums/p544/toto242/2011-6-11.jpg Stranger: oh thank you I was gonna ask, just a sec Stranger: wow, you’re really pretty You: Thank you Stranger: i’ll send you one…what do you want to see? You: I don’t really care to see a picture Stranger: oh ok Stranger:… Read more »

dick mc.chungus
dick mc.chungus
5 months ago
Reply to  Cathy Redmond

of course you fucking idiots are republican

Artyom M. Nikoleyhv
Artyom M. Nikoleyhv
5 years ago

You guys are sexist assholes.