Most of you are familiar with the controversy surrounding the vaccines. If not, then you probably live under a rock in the desert. The vaccines are neither necessary nor safe, and men of God have warned against them ever since their inception.
The Diabeetus
As dangerous as they are, illnesses are God’s creations. We do our best to live in wholesome and healthy environments as the Bible commands. If we get sick, there are medical treatments and if we die, we die a natural death. On the other hand, if you are healthy and choose to inject the vaccines with knowledge of the risks and then keel over, you are guilty of murdering yourself or your offspring and will receive a one-way ticket to Triple-Hell. At best you might be left as a retarded or stricken with masturbation palsy.
Masturbation Palsy
WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE VACCINES, ANYWAY?
What are vaccines? Vaccines are crazy mixed-up Doctor Frankenstein serums made from fetal tissue of humans, cows, chickens and monkeys. Sometimes they are even made from aborted fetuses. Leviticus 19:19 (KLV) is very clear about not creating such abominations: ”Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy animal join with a diverse kind for mixtures; thou shalt not sow thy field with mixture, neither shalt thou wear garments of a mixture of different things.”
God did not make a mistake when he created us or the diseases. YOU make a mistake when you try to play God. LIEberal pro-vaccine lobbyists and their dupes would have you believe otherwise! Would you willingly inject your children with cowpox, botox or bovine encephalitis? We didn’t think so!
GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE!
But… GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE! FaithScientists at B.L.U.F.F have concluded that a recent divine revelation received by our leader, Brother Lonnie Childs, is 100% accurate and Faith-Factual. Independent research from the Foundation for a Better Tomorrow confirms the substance of the holy revelation. This good news comes as no great surprise to Brother Lonnie’s faithful Lonvidian flock at Stop Masturbation Now ministries or the students at Brother Lonnie’s University of FaithFacts. But it’s great to be proven right.
MESSAGE FROM ALMIGHTY GOD
In a recent meeting with B.L.U.F.F. Elders, Brother Lonnie revealed the Lord’s message: “As you know, I have experienced an epic epiphany. The Lord came to me with a powerful message to pass on to the naysayers and skeptics. I know it was He who has spoken to me again, not least of all because of the wondrous thunder of His voice and the voluminity of His great beard. He who sits upon The Throne spoke to me and said,”:
‘Lonnie Childs, speak, for these words are true and faithful. Through thee I shall give the world the truths as Jesus taught them when on earth. Vaccines are an abomination and bring about terrible masturbation-induced illnesses. They are harbingers of death. Thou must speak and spread the word that demonic forces among you intend to inject and infect as many innocent mortals as possible with the vile sin of self-rape. Thus saith The Lord.’
REVELATIONS WARNS OF VACCINES: “SEVEN VIALS OF SEVEN PLAGUES”
The HomoGayness
“You can take it from me or you can do the research yourself. Vaccines – these are the seven vials full of the seven last plagues prophesied in Revelations,” Lonnie pointed out. “The demonic forces the Lord spoke of that are plotting to inject and infect our young are none other than Big Pharma and Big Masturbation.”
“Everyone knows Jesus was not vaccinated nor did he defile himself with masturbation. These are undeniable FaithFacts. When folks in the Bible got sick, Jesus would pray at them and they were cured. We all need to follow in His footsteps and start praying at the sick instead of wasting our time sticking them with poisonous vaccines.”
KIDS: LOVE THEM, PROTECT THEM, BUT NEVER INJECT THEM
Do not fall victim to the lies and propaganda spread by the LIEberal media. The much-maligned anti-vaxxers are modern-day martyrs for the truth. Wake up, sheeple! Don’t let your kids end up with masturbation palsy, the Diabeetus or the HomoGayness. Protect our children and say NO to vaccines!
Sister K. Truffle
B.L.UF.F. UK
with kind support and encouragement from:
Prof. Milton H. Grits, B.L.UF.F.
Sister Cathy “Conservative Cathy” Redmond
References:
- The WORD of God (Holy Bible, KLV)
- Brother Lonnie’s University of FaithFacts, Safford, Ariz.
- Foundation for a Better Tomorrow, Safford, Ariz.
- Vaccination: The UnGodly Practice by Leonard G. Horowitz, D.M.D., M.A., M.P.H.
For once I agree with you. LIEberals are just ignorant little bastards! Vaccines are baby killers. Thank you, for reporting the truth.
Well, I never thought I’d see the day. You may well end up being a smart guy, after all.
I am grateful that my parents had me vaccinated against small cocks disease.
Excellent work Sister Truffle! You even got “A Smart Guy” to agree with you. That is an accomplishment worthy of praise!
Just wow guys(!)
How do we actually know that Lonnie is actually telling the truth? Remember the popes in the Middle Ages? They all were liers, just people who know how to manipulate people into their agendas, which are to gain power and to keep it. How do we know that he is “heaven worthy”? Another example: The Church Was wrong about the geocentric model of the world (where everything revolves around the Earth). So how do we know these people are not wrong now? Answer that question truthfully. We don’t need the church to help us connect to God. We only need… Read more »