Post Tagged with: "Science"

A female masturbator in the throes of self-rape.

Is Masturbation Rape?

In civilized society of old, masturbators were ridiculed and looked down upon. People saw masturbation as a pox and something that caused blindness, fishy smelling fingers, and hairy palms. However, Satan has been hard at work in changing the mind of man. Recently, masturbation has been labeled “okay”, “cool” and […]

by March 25, 2020 15 comments Morals, Science
Study: Masturbation Residues found on 99.7% of Discarded iPhones

Study: Masturbation Residues found on 99.7% of Discarded iPhones

B.L.U.F.F. SAFFORD AZ – Mobile phones and devices have become an increasing fixture in American life during the last decade or two. It seems that a person can go nowhere without finding citizens fiddling away with their noses in a cellular phone or tablet electronic device. Pastors and Ministers have […]

by June 26, 2015 3 comments B.L.U.F.F.
STOP Vaccination NOW!

DIVINE REVELATION: VACCINES CAUSE MASTURBATORY ILLNESSES

Most of you are familiar with the controversy surrounding the vaccines. If not, then you probably live under a rock in the desert. The vaccines are neither necessary nor safe, and men of God have warned against them ever since their inception. As dangerous as they are, illnesses are God’s creations. […]

by March 26, 2015 6 comments Science
Masturbation Prevention

Masturbation Prevention

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?” 1 Corinthians 6:19 NAS Today’s culture loves to promote the lie that we own our body and God is cool […]

by November 28, 2014 22 comments Self-Rape Prevention
Solar flares joins the list of self rape excuses

Masturbator Caught! Blames Solar Flares!

NEWBERRY PALMS, CA – Earlier today, 15 year old Cindy Saccapelli committed the sin of masturbation at her Catholic place of learning. When first responding school officials questioned her, she claimed the stains on her cheerleader uniform were caused by solar flares. The cheerleaders of Our Lady of the Blessed […]

by September 11, 2014 3 comments Science
Ebola Discovered Spread Via Masturbation

Ebola Discovered Spread Via Masturbation

SIERRA LEONE – A French foreign aid worker has contracted the Ebola virus through masturbation. The World Health Organization morns the loss of a brave volunteer, Jorge Pierre-Francios, who was assisting the infected in a makeshift Ebola treatment center in Sierra Leone. Previous infections of the virus have been through […]

by August 14, 2014 6 comments World
Faithfact #448

Faithfact #448 – T-Rex’s Short Arms

DID YOU KNOW?   The mighty dragon, T-Rex, once had arms like that of a man but was PUNISHED by God for masturbating and cursed with the short arms he now has today.

by July 24, 2014 17 comments Faith Fact Series
Masturbation Linked to Higher Crime Rates

Masturbation Linked to Higher Crime Rates

Safford, AZ   Breaking news from the groundbreaking think tank Foundation For a Better Tomorrow. Masturbation has been seen to have a direct causation into incarceration rates and criminal activity. The study was done over a multi-year period, supervised by the best Faith Scientists on the BLUFF campus.   It […]

by July 15, 2014 6 comments Faith Graph, Morals, Science

Masturbation Mythbusters: Medical Masturbation – The Dismal ScLIEnce

Myth: It is OK to let doctors masturbate me because scLIEnce says that I must allow them to smear my paps! Status: B U S T E D! Nice try ladies! This line of reasoning completely falls apart when one considers the findings of The Foundation for a Better Tomorrow, […]

by May 30, 2014 5 comments Uncategorized
Breaking News: Portland Oregon Water Contaminated With Semen… Thousands at Risk

Breaking News: Portland Oregon Water Contaminated With Semen… Thousands at Risk

(StopMasturbationNOW)— About 670,000 residents in Oregon were advised Friday to boil drinking water after several tests showed semen in some water samples, the Portland Water Bureau said. Hipsters masturbating in the towns mountainous reservoirs is most likely the cause. Masturbation is one of the fastest methods for spreading disease.   […]

by May 23, 2014 5 comments Weather
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