Faith Graph

Is Disaster more Terrible when Attractive Caucasians are Involved?

Is Disaster more Terrible when Attractive Caucasians are Involved?

(StopMasturbationNOW)— Yesterday an airplane tragically crashed in France . The news has been very sad. However photos of the victims seems to focus on the more attractive normal skinned passengers that perished in the tragedy. This raises the question, does society value some people more than others. It seems there is […]

by March 25, 2015 8 comments Faith Graph, Foreigners
(image source: By Thue (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons)

100% Of All Car Accidents Are Caused By Masturbators

The world’s last great think tank, The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow, recently finished an 18 month study on the root cause of automobile accidents. The results they found, while predictable, were still shocking to the average American who still has not accepted Lonnie Childs as their personal anti-self-rape savior. […]

by November 13, 2014 18 comments Death, Faith Graph, Lonnie Childs, Morals
A New Species Of Human By 2050? Here’s The Faith Science…

A New Species Of Human By 2050? Here’s The Faith Science…

“We will see a new species of human, or sub-human rather, by 2050 if things progress at current rates.” That’s a pretty shocking claim from Faith Scientist Dr. Ian Norton, but Dr. Norton backs up this claim with decades of evidence he and other faith researchers have compiled to prove […]

by September 12, 2014 9 comments Animals, Death, Faith Graph, Science
“The Simpsons” Marathon Begins; Masturbation Rates Immediately Drop 25%

“The Simpsons” Marathon Begins; Masturbation Rates Immediately Drop 25%

Cable television channel FXX started a publicity stunt today where they are showing every episodes of “The Simpsons” in a marathon format. The marathon is to run without interruption until Labor Day and began at 10:30am this morning. The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow noticed a 25% drop in masturbatory acts […]

by August 22, 2014 8 comments Celebrity, Faith Graph, Trending
Don’t Diddle & Drive

Don’t Diddle & Drive

Sadly this tragedy plays out every day.

FaithScientists Discover Masturbation KILLS – FaithFact #532

Stop Masturbation Now Ministries led by our spiritual leader Brother Lonald “Lonnie” Childs has been at the forefront of masturbation FaithScience and has made numerous advancements and FaithDiscoveries regarding our knowledge of self-rape. For instance it was our own FaithScientists along with Brother Lonnie’s fervent prayers that discovered that masturbation […]

New Research Demonstrates Obama Masturbates More Than Any Other President

New Research Demonstrates Obama Masturbates More Than Any Other President

Safford, AZ-  In groundbreaking research released today, it was proven that President Barack Obama masturbates more than any other President. The independent research think tank Foundation For a Better Tomorrow detailed months of research that found that the 44th President masturbates at double the rate of the next high-masturbation President. […]

California Forest Fire Caused By Masturbation Accident

California Forest Fire Caused By Masturbation Accident

Residents of the small Trinity Pines community in Northern California were shocked to learn the cause of a forest fire that destroyed 15 acres of land in early July. The fire, called the ‘West Fire’ by fire officials, was started on July 1st and burned for two days before being […]

by July 26, 2014 60 comments Faith Graph, Trending
World’s Oldest Man Dies After Masturbating For First Time

World’s Oldest Man Dies After Masturbating For First Time

Morris Browder had seen a lot in his 115 years on God’s Earth. He lived through the first World War. He lived through the liberal created Great Depression. He lived through the non-normals attacking Hawaii in the 1940s. He even lived through the wars of non-normal aggression in Korea, Vietnam, […]

by July 25, 2014 71 comments Death, Faith Graph, Science
Canine Gigantism Outbreak Hits U.S. East Coast

Canine Gigantism Outbreak Hits U.S. East Coast

Jessica King started to notice something was wrong with her prized Golden Retriever, “Rusty”. “Rusty” began eating excessive amounts of dog food and even King’s neighbors noticed that he seemed to be growing larger every day. King, distraught, took “Rusty” to the local veterinarian who was equally baffled. “Rusty”‘s diet […]

by July 24, 2014 11 comments Faith Graph, Trending
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