Spot a Masturbator

A Chilling Glimpse into the Mind of a Self-Rapist

A Chilling Glimpse into the Mind of a Self-Rapist

Please send all women and children out of the room before viewing the image!  

How To Spot a Masturbator

How To Spot a Masturbator

Most people wash their hands as a way to stay clean and prevent the spread of harmful germs.  When using the restroom, a normal person will wash their hands upon entering the restroom so as to not spread bacteria and viruses to their genitals, and then relieve themselves afterwards.  This […]

by February 20, 2020 230 comments Morals, Spot a Masturbator
“Spin the Bottle”:  A Harmless Rite of Passage or Dangerous Masturbation Ritual?

“Spin the Bottle”: A Harmless Rite of Passage or Dangerous Masturbation Ritual?

Some say that the pre-teen game “spin the bottle” is harmless fun; a time where whimsical memories are created, a rite of passage for many a youth.  The naïve people who believe this couldn’t be more wrong! **SPIN THE BOTTLE IS A GATEWAY DRUG TO A GROUP MASTURBATION GAME CALLED […]

by February 18, 2020 4 comments Gateway Drug, Morals, Spot a Masturbator
David Bowie Dead Of Cancer

David Bowie Dead Of Cancer

ENGLAND, PROBABLY, MAYBE SCOTLAND (SMNNN) Horrible androgen Martian-spider/human hybrid Sex-goblin rockpop icon, and profuse masturbator David Bowie succumbed to various masturbation related cancers today, he was 69 years old. Bowie, long an androgynous mess of a waste of sinning oxygen, had a long and storied career beginning in 1978 when […]

83 Signs Your Underage Daughter is a Harlot

83 Signs Your Underage Daughter is a Harlot

[Special thanks to Larry Thomas for his contribution to this sacred undertaking] Ever wondered if your daughter was a harlot? There are obvious signs, like if she watches some of the hot videos on watchmygirlfriend regularly. But now you can know for sure! According to recently updated BDSM-5 (Biblical Diagnostics […]

New Trend of “Masturdating” Threatens Our Way of Life

New Trend of “Masturdating” Threatens Our Way of Life

U.S.A- SMNNN The sickening and immoral trend of reprobate pro-mastubation troglodytes of The United States, #1 country of all time, of “masturdating” has infected our population, like one of the various plagues that were predicted to accompany the End of The World Masturbation Apocalypse. Masturbators, long proven by our forces, […]

How to Catch your Teenage Babysitter Masturbating

How to Catch your Teenage Babysitter Masturbating

(StopMasturbationNOW)—One of the major trials for parents is trusting your house and child to a young stranger.  Whether it be Bible study, PTA meetings, or an evening on the town, many parents need to hire a teenage female to be a substitute parent for an evening. Unfortunately that babysitter may […]

Masturbator Marries Herself

Masturbator Marries Herself

Houston TX (SMNN) A great offense against Our Lords took place in Houston, Texas, when a non-Normal-lesser-gendered married her own self, most likely, having caused the baby Jesus to weep on the cross out of rage and shame. Non-Normal-Lesser-Gendered Yasmin Eleby, proudly married herself, in a direct affront to decency […]

Are “Crotch Selfies” the new Hip Masturbation Trend?

Are “Crotch Selfies” the new Hip Masturbation Trend?

  (StopMasturbationNow)—Masturbation and technology. Two words that seem forever linked. From pornographic internets sites to online dating, masturbators seem to embrace technology at a dangerous pace. Always trying to stay ahead of parents and watchdog organizations once a technology is exposed they move on to something new. The latest most […]

New Anti-Masturbation Doll Warns When Masturbators Are Near

New Anti-Masturbation Doll Warns When Masturbators Are Near

Anti-masturbation advocates received favorable news recently upon the announcement of a new doll that is designed to detect the presence of masturbators. The doll, called “Woody The Warning Worm”, was created by faith engineers to illuminate within 50 feet of a detected masturbator. Melvin Briggs, one of the many faith […]

by January 16, 2015 16 comments Spot a Masturbator
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