Faces of Masturbation / Lifestyle / Politics / Press Release / Spot a Masturbator / Traditional Marriage

Masturbator Marries Herself

Houston TX (SMNN)

A great offense against Our Lords took place in Houston, Texas, when a non-Normal-lesser-gendered married her own self, most likely, having caused the baby Jesus to weep on the cross out of rage and shame.

Non-Normal-Lesser-Gendered Yasmin Eleby, proudly married herself, in a direct affront to decency at the Houston non-Normals ‘Cultural’ center, in a ceremony containing many non-Normals, and most likely, Satan The Devil himself.

Eleby has promised to “Love herself” as a result of this marriage.

SMN spokesperson Dr Skippy Enis warns: ” Self marriage is self-gay, and I reckon it’s masturbatory. So this is sinnin’, and we don’t abide by sinnin’, and neither should you. I don’t care how non-Normal you are, this is just plain disgusting. This is what the masturbators are doin’ to our great land. Sickening. ”

Brother Lonnie Childs was unable to be contacted regarding this tragic event, as he is on location in Darkest Africa on the set of the film “The Goonies II: Rise of Sloth”. Reports tell us he retired to his mobile heli-carrier to contemplate this abomination, and commune with God and Jesus directly.

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Truffle
5 years ago

SWEET WHITE AMERICAN JESUS, WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END!!??!!

augustweisz
Admin
5 years ago

I weep for America today. This is why our movement cannot fail.

The Island Mexican
The Island Mexican
5 years ago

The Yanks are the laughing stock of the world

sneezy
sneezy
5 years ago

I always cry at weddings, and it stops up my nose. I quite going to weddings since I turned nosegay. Sniff sniff. Nah.

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
5 years ago

So, like me in high school? As in “love yourself”. Just kidding. I was loved. But that film you mentioned is fake

Milton Grits
5 years ago

All of those women look like they got married to the buffet at some point.

FATWANG6969696
FATWANG6969696
4 years ago

CONTACT ME FOR A GOOD TIME PLEASE I NEED THE GOOOD TIME
-calebpounds@gmail.com
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