Articles by: Kenneth Day

Rap Music Producer Blockhead Refuses To Masturbate In Hotel Room

Rap Music Producer Blockhead Refuses To Masturbate In Hotel Room

Brother Lonnie Childs has been working closely with a handful of small hotels across the United States on a mission to make hotel rooms less enticing to the common masturbator. Brother Lonnie started small with lower budget hotels, the likes of which tend to attract small business travelers and touring […]

by April 15, 2015 8 comments Family Values
Big Masturbation Beer Removed From Shelves In Chicago

Big Masturbation Beer Removed From Shelves In Chicago

Anti-masturbation achieved a small victory recently when a pro-masturbation beer funded by Big Masturbation was removed from the shelves of a Chicago liquor store. The beer in question, “Happy Ending”, being marketed by SweetWater Brewing Company, features a label of man’s contorted face in the middle of an orgasm etched […]

by April 10, 2015 4 comments Big Masturbation
3 Simple Ways To Be A Man

3 Simple Ways To Be A Man

I’ve met a lot of men over the years that claim to be “real men” but none have compared to Brother Lonnie Childs. I was able to briefly meet Brother Lonnie during a faith conference in Phoenix, Arizona in late 2014 and He made my fledgling writing career by allowing […]

by April 9, 2015 16 comments Lonnie Childs
Lonnie Childs encountering "The Sasquatch".

BREAKING: Lonnie Childs Solves Mystery Of Bigfoot

Another one of life’s great mysteries has been solved thanks to the tireless efforts of Lonnie Childs. Brother Lonnie was out walking the Earth as He does from time to time and found Himself in Western Oregon in the woods. The particular area Brother Lonnie was traveling through is renowned […]

by April 3, 2015 11 comments Animals
(image source: By pinguino k (Flickr) [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons)

Angelina Jolie Continues Anti-Masturbation Crusade; Has Ovaries Removed

Angelina Jolie is a rare breed of modern celebrity. Beginning with her double mastectomy in 2013, Jolie has been determined to make sure no filthy men and women will masturbate to her ever again. The mainstream press attempted to spin Jolie’s mastectomy surgery as a “preventative measure” to “lower her […]

by March 24, 2015 7 comments Celebrity
screenshot via YouTube/NiseethTV

A World Gone Mad: Indian Women Advocate Masturbation

A horrifying glimpse into the unrestrained masturbation practices of the average lesser gendered member of Indian society was unceremoniously leaked onto the internet a few days ago. The video, an abomination even with its short 2 minute and 39 second run time, features several young, Indian lesser gendereds admitting to […]

by March 21, 2015 3 comments Big Masturbation, World
Rapper, Masturbator Fred Durst Admits To Murder On Live Mic

Rapper, Masturbator Fred Durst Admits To Murder On Live Mic

Fred Durst, rapper, confirmed masturbator and disgusting mind behind rap music metal band “Limp Bizkit” admitted on a live mic during a recent interview that he “killed them all”. Durst, of course was referring to all of the unborn children he has murdered over the years by masturbating into various […]

by March 17, 2015 4 comments Celebrity
James Springer White (photo source: Public Domain)

Heroes Of Anti-Masturbation: James Springer White

James Springer White, of the somewhat liberal Seventh Day Adventist movement was an unlikely hero of anti-masturbation. White, also known as Elder White, was a prolific author who penned such tomes as Word to the Little Flock, The Sounding of the Seven Trumpets of Revelation 8 & 9, and wrote […]

by March 16, 2015 3 comments History
WWE Releases Shameful Masturbation Fodder Video On YouTube

WWE Releases Shameful Masturbation Fodder Video On YouTube

World Wrestling Entertainment sunk to a new low this weekend when they released a three-minute, forty seconds long video titled “Royal Rumble Match: WWE Royal Rumble 2014”. While on the surface it may appear that this is just the sports entertainment contest named in the title, unfortunately, it is nothing […]

by February 21, 2015 3 comments Sports
A Glimpse Inside Of An Actual Anti-Masturbation Re-education Ceremony

A Glimpse Inside Of An Actual Anti-Masturbation Re-education Ceremony

As a member of the fact-based, right-thinking American press machine and a friend of the Stop Masturbation Now movement, I was granted a special look inside during an actual anti-masturbation re-education event at the Safford, Arizona B.L.U.F.F. campound. I’d like to extend special thanks to Brother Barrett Crenshaw and his […]

by February 11, 2015 8 comments B.L.U.F.F.
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