Science

You Will Never Climb to Heaven With Your Hands Full of Penis

Foolish is the masturbator who thinks he can enter God’s eternal kingdom! It is literally impossible for a self-rapist to ascend the golden rungs of the heavenly ladder if his hands are abusing his sin zones!

-Lonnie

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Sugma
Sugma
4 months ago

if i can’t climb to heaven then i’ll tech deck to hell

your mom
your mom
4 months ago
Reply to  Sugma

This is literally the dumbest thing i have ever seen

Satan's BFF
Satan's BFF
4 months ago

Fucking dumbasses everyone knows its a stairway not a ladder

yes
yes
3 months ago

that’s why you get a mouthful instead

carrick chrsit
3 months ago

but don’t we just go poof?

Stan Loona Stan Vivi
Stan Loona Stan Vivi
3 months ago
Reply to  carrick chrsit

You’d think 😔

Stan Loona Stan Vivi
Stan Loona Stan Vivi
3 months ago

That’s why you put the penis in your mouth instead.

Donald J Trump
Donald J Trump
3 months ago

Lonnie I absolutely love your work. How are children supposed to become productive member of society with hands full of penis?! Masturbating is a sin and I am so happy there are people like you out there to put an end to this sinful world. You are my one true idol and I hope you can bring a stop to this horrific world we live in.

God lover
God lover
3 months ago

Thank you so much this website taught me something valuable today and I will never masturbate 🙏🙏🙏

Handy Man
Handy Man
3 months ago

I’m masturbating right now while reading this story.

Abi
Abi
3 months ago

You (a male author) has made an entire tag called “penis” so maybe you’re the gay one.

Emo_Lesbian_Homosexual
2 months ago

AND THAT’S WHY YOU GET A MOUTH FULL INSTEAD WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Emo_Lesbian_Homosexual
2 months ago

You said nothing about pussy tho. Therefore I, a lesbian, can take my ass to heaven.

Nah fuck that, I’m not spending my after life with republicans, see you guys in hell!!