Science

You Will Never Climb to Heaven With Your Hands Full of Penis

Foolish is the masturbator who thinks he can enter God’s eternal kingdom! It is literally impossible for a self-rapist to ascend the golden rungs of the heavenly ladder if his hands are abusing his sin zones!

-Lonnie

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Sugma
Sugma
1 year ago

if i can’t climb to heaven then i’ll tech deck to hell

your mom
your mom
1 year ago
Reply to  Sugma

This is literally the dumbest thing i have ever seen

Satan's BFF
Satan's BFF
1 year ago

Fucking dumbasses everyone knows its a stairway not a ladder

yes
yes
11 months ago

that’s why you get a mouthful instead

carrick chrsit
11 months ago

but don’t we just go poof?

Stan Loona Stan Vivi
Stan Loona Stan Vivi
11 months ago
Reply to  carrick chrsit

You’d think 😔

Stan Loona Stan Vivi
Stan Loona Stan Vivi
11 months ago

That’s why you put the penis in your mouth instead.

Donald J Trump
Donald J Trump
11 months ago

Lonnie I absolutely love your work. How are children supposed to become productive member of society with hands full of penis?! Masturbating is a sin and I am so happy there are people like you out there to put an end to this sinful world. You are my one true idol and I hope you can bring a stop to this horrific world we live in.

God lover
God lover
11 months ago

Thank you so much this website taught me something valuable today and I will never masturbate 🙏🙏🙏

Handy Man
Handy Man
11 months ago

I’m masturbating right now while reading this story.

Abi
Abi
11 months ago

You (a male author) has made an entire tag called “penis” so maybe you’re the gay one.

Emo_Lesbian_Homosexual
10 months ago

AND THAT’S WHY YOU GET A MOUTH FULL INSTEAD WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Emo_Lesbian_Homosexual
10 months ago

You said nothing about pussy tho. Therefore I, a lesbian, can take my ass to heaven.

Nah fuck that, I’m not spending my after life with republicans, see you guys in hell!!

Ryan
Ryan
4 months ago

Dude this shit is waaaay to funny