Mayor of Toronto, Mike Tyson (pictured above), flew into a profanity-laced tirade after a fellow non-normal news reporter shamefully drudged up a two-decade-old self-rape conviction. On live television, Tyson called news anchor Nathan “Debbie” Downer the f-word, the s-word, and a rat. Such language has never before been heard uncensored on a non-NSFW (Not Safe For Women) broadcast and raises the question of whether Mayor Tyson should again be brought up on charges.
Tyson was understandably mortified to be reminded, along with viewers, of his checkered past which involved a three-year prison term for self-rape. In July 1991, Tyson was arrested after 18-year-old Desiree Washington, Miss Non-Normal Rhode Island, informed the police that she had caught Mr. Tyson masturbating in his hotel room. Washington had accompanied Tyson from his limousine to the hotel when he asked her to wait outside the room for him to get “freshened up”. When five minutes had passed and Tyson still hadn’t emerged, Ms. Washington became panicked, fearing the worst, and burst into the bathroom right as Tyson was finishing up.
Covered in the evidence, the police had no choice but to believe her story though they really didn’t want to. It made it easier that the perpetrator was a dark-skinned man, but it probably would have helped if the accuser was a normal. Medical examinations found trauma to the penis consistent with hand abuse. The limo driver also confirmed Ms. Washington’s account, noting that Tyson had began masturbating before he had left the vehicle.
Tyson was convicted under an Indiana self-rape statute still on the books at the time that Obama and the LIEberal media had forgotten to repeal. Its effectiveness in swiftly and mercilessly placing a known masturbator and dangerous minority safely behind bars is promising for the future success of Tina’s Law.
Unfortunately, Mayor Tyson’s prison term has long since ended. He is now taking his “One-Man Show” on the road to various XXX theaters for perverts and homogay masturbators.
Mayor Tyson is rarely seen without sunglasses as he is now, unsurprisingly, blind.
Well…look at these poor trolls that are not getting fed. It’s sad to say that it seems that only yesterday you where at the height of your career SMN. And now you have barley any people to feed you, to give you attention, to keep you alive. It wont be long before you eventually die out and will only be remembered as perhaps one the most infamous trolls on the internet if not anything less of that. Anyway, it has not been a pleasure knowing you and I hope your inevitable demise comes quick and soon.
Can you believe this masturbator was elected mayor? More proof that Snow Mexicans are some of the worst “people” on this planet!
You are so wrong. We have plenty of barley at the campound.
I blew my load to this article.
Good luck with The Bad AIDS, savage!
This tale reads like something from the darkest depths of Stephen King’s mind! I fear my prayers will do no good in this case. God bless the rest of you!
How any city could elect a non-normal as mayor is beyond me.
Neil deGrasse Tyson. …lmao
I find your eyepatch kinky;)