Brother Lonnie Approves New Program For Converted Homogays

As a former homogay I spend many a restless night thinking back on my past lascivious lifestyle while praying long and hard to fight the temptations to return to the homogay cabal. After fifteen minutes of rest I begin praying long and hard again. As I was gripped in the throes of feverish, sweaty prayer I realized there was a way to fight the urges and test my commitment to Christ and Brother Lonnie’s teachings.

Brother Lonnie in his infinite wisdom has approved a new program that allows former homogays to strengthen their resolve against their sinful urges as well as test their commitment to the STOP Masturbation NOW lifestyle. This new program is called Christians Overcoming Carnal Knowledge or COCK for short.

The newly approved COCK program allows former homogays to contact each other via the Craigslist netsite and arrange meetings at truck stops and highway rest stops so that they may perform homogay acts and Christian fellowship on one another to test their resolve to maintain a heterosexual, self-rape free lifestyle. If the former homogay does not enjoy these acts of sexual congress with his fellow Christian soldier then he is indeed on the correct path and will maintain favor in Christ’s and Brother Lonnie’s eyes. If he should find he enjoys the encounter then he must turn himself in to our Safford compound for more reprogramming, beatings, fasting and prayer until he is able to perform homogay sex acts on a BLUFF elder without enjoying them. He will then be allowed to contact former homogays for Christian fellowship at highway rest stops.

Brother Lonnie’s followers engaged in Christian fellowship.

I can attest to the fact that the COCK program has been a huge success. I have tested my resolve multiple times this week with Rodrigo in multiple truck stops and men’s restrooms and at no point have enjoyed the encounters. Truly brother Lonnie’s golden showers of blessings, love and forgiveness have rained down upon me. Because I want to please brother Lonnie and Christ and prove my rock hard dedication to His teachings I have made further Craigslist netsite plans with Rodrigo to mutually test our resolve further at the local dog park and then again at a high school swim meet. We are also planning to fellowship each other this summer in Rio de Janeiro where hopefully I can fellowship with other Latin men. Praise!

For further details regarding the COCK program please feel free to contact me at the Craigslist netsite under the name Ron Mexico. I will then send you details of our next Christian fellowship. Must be clean, disease free and at least 8 inches. I look forward to meeting all of you as we practice good clean Christian values. Bless!