Post Tagged with: "Homogay™"

Is Masturbation a Homosexual Act?

Is Masturbation a Homosexual Act?

Friends, as you know, we here at STOP Masturbation NOW ministries are dedicated to educating the world about the dangers of masturbation.  One of the more disturbing faithfacts we have uncovered is that masturbation is a gateway homosexual act that has directly led to the moral decay of this great […]

by April 28, 2020 81 comments Faith Fact Series
SMN Ministries Announces Boycott and Protest of Masturbation Movie “A Cure For Wellness”

SMN Ministries Announces Boycott and Protest of Masturbation Movie “A Cure For Wellness”

“And when the LORD saw it, he abhorred them, because of the provoking of his sons, and of his daughters.” — Deut 32.19 In an expected move, SMN Ministries has announced its intention to protest the newest release from Regency Enterprises. A Cure for Wellness is Hollywood’s newest Big Masturbation […]

by February 8, 2017 11 comments Big Masturbation, Moral Outrage, Morals
Are You A Closet-Homosexual???

Are You A Closet-Homosexual???

  Have you ever heard the term “Closet Homosexual?” Do you know what it means? Back in a more civilized time, Americans did not openly discuss things, such as: masturbation, mixed-race children, women’s rights, genetically modified food, The Gay, or the Democratic Party. In those days, rather than openly discussing […]

by August 7, 2015 18 comments Etiquette
We stand with Lonnie!!!

Introducing Brother Lonnie’s Approved Prosthetic Limbs For Masturbatory Amputees

In a world where masturbation has run rampant, more and more people are having their arms or hands amputated due to masturbation injuries and diseases. While we do not approve of the activities that self-rapists involve themselves in, we do still care about the human species and the blacks, so […]

by January 11, 2015 20 comments Disciples
Brother Lonnie Approves New Program For Converted Homogays

Brother Lonnie Approves New Program For Converted Homogays

As a former homogay I spend many a restless night thinking back on my past lascivious lifestyle while praying long and hard to fight the temptations to return to the homogay cabal. After fifteen minutes of rest I begin praying long and hard again. As I was gripped in the […]

by December 23, 2014 10 comments Disciples, Family Values, Politics
Lonnie is Homo With the Father

Lonnie is Homo With the Father

WARNING: TL;DR The Father is homo with the Son. The Son is homo with the Bird. The Bird is the Word. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The Word became flesh and dwelt among us. Behold, the Technical Virgin […]

Mother Milk, A Good Start For Your Child?

Mother Milk, A Good Start For Your Child?

We all know eating the wrong food has many unhealthy side effects, like heart disease and cancer.  But no one knew indulging the wrong foods also ensures one will surrender quickly to the sinful pleasures of masturbation. The earlier a child eats the wrong foods, the more harmful consequences in […]

by October 9, 2014 9 comments Family Values
Is he, or isn't he?

Tipping a Waiter That Might be a Masturbator

Gratuity is a form of appreciation for good service that is only seen in civilized countries like America. A well-tended-to patron with good manners will leave an additional sum to reflect their appreciation for good service. This “tip” is usually between 15-30% of the total bill. However, tipping a suspected […]

by September 30, 2014 25 comments Etiquette
Encountering a masturbator in the wild can  be intimidating if you don't recognize the warning signs.

The Faces of Masturbation Series: Recognize the Signs!

Encountering a masturbator in the wild can be frightening if you don’t recognize the warning signs.  Pictured is your typical brain-dead masturbator, capable of only making guttural groaning noises, hurling insults that only the most remedial 3rd grade dropout might find amusing and, of course, masturbation.  Be aware of the […]

by September 23, 2014 23 comments Faces of Masturbation
NFL Superstar, Adrian Peterson, Arrested for Spanking “The Gay” Out of His Son

NFL Superstar, Adrian Peterson, Arrested for Spanking “The Gay” Out of His Son

  Last week, Minnesota Vikings quarterback, Adrian Peterson, was arrested in his hometown for a mysterious domestic violence charge. This came on the heals of Jerry Rice’s suspension and dismissal from the Baltimore colts for disciplining his wife in an Atlantic City elevator. Today, the Cobb County prosecutor announced that […]

by September 16, 2014 9 comments Celebrity
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