Friends, as you know, we here at STOP Masturbation NOW ministries are dedicated to educating the world about the dangers of masturbation. One of the more disturbing faithfacts we have uncovered is that masturbation is a gateway homosexual act that has directly led to the moral decay of this great […]
“And when the LORD saw it, he abhorred them, because of the provoking of his sons, and of his daughters.” — Deut 32.19 In an expected move, SMN Ministries has announced its intention to protest the newest release from Regency Enterprises. A Cure for Wellness is Hollywood’s newest Big Masturbation […]
Have you ever heard the term “Closet Homosexual?” Do you know what it means? Back in a more civilized time, Americans did not openly discuss things, such as: masturbation, mixed-race children, women’s rights, genetically modified food, The Gay, or the Democratic Party. In those days, rather than openly discussing […]
In a world where masturbation has run rampant, more and more people are having their arms or hands amputated due to masturbation injuries and diseases. While we do not approve of the activities that self-rapists involve themselves in, we do still care about the human species and the blacks, so […]
As a former homogay I spend many a restless night thinking back on my past lascivious lifestyle while praying long and hard to fight the temptations to return to the homogay cabal. After fifteen minutes of rest I begin praying long and hard again. As I was gripped in the […]
WARNING: TL;DR The Father is homo with the Son. The Son is homo with the Bird. The Bird is the Word. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The Word became flesh and dwelt among us. Behold, the Technical Virgin […]
We all know eating the wrong food has many unhealthy side effects, like heart disease and cancer. But no one knew indulging the wrong foods also ensures one will surrender quickly to the sinful pleasures of masturbation. The earlier a child eats the wrong foods, the more harmful consequences in […]
Gratuity is a form of appreciation for good service that is only seen in civilized countries like America. A well-tended-to patron with good manners will leave an additional sum to reflect their appreciation for good service. This “tip” is usually between 15-30% of the total bill. However, tipping a suspected […]
Encountering a masturbator in the wild can be frightening if you don’t recognize the warning signs. Pictured is your typical brain-dead masturbator, capable of only making guttural groaning noises, hurling insults that only the most remedial 3rd grade dropout might find amusing and, of course, masturbation. Be aware of the […]
Last week, Minnesota Vikings quarterback, Adrian Peterson, was arrested in his hometown for a mysterious domestic violence charge. This came on the heals of Jerry Rice’s suspension and dismissal from the Baltimore colts for disciplining his wife in an Atlantic City elevator. Today, the Cobb County prosecutor announced that […]
