Etiquette

Tipping a Waiter That Might be a Masturbator

Gratuity is a form of appreciation for good service that is only seen in civilized countries like America. A well-tended-to patron with good manners will leave an additional sum to reflect their appreciation for good service. This “tip” is usually between 15-30% of the total bill.

However, tipping a suspected masturbator is a completely different situation. You do not know if your waiter has included his seed in your meal and he probably does not wash his hands. In an extreme situation, your waiter might also have The Gay.

checkThe acceptable method for dealing with a suspected masturbator that might be bringing your food, is to deduct the tip from the total amount. Twenty percent (20%) is the standard amount you should deduct; however, if the service was exceptional, you should deduct thirty percent (30%).

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scootermcshooter
scootermcshooter
6 years ago

You fuckers are trippin!!

scootermcshooter
scootermcshooter
6 years ago

I will masturbate in your food liam. Yum yum

Liam McKey
6 years ago

I doubt you could get into the places I eat, let alone work there.

bridgetbrown
bridgetbrown
6 years ago
Reply to  Liam McKey

U do realize tht fapping is not even a big deal xD seriously I have not the slightest idea how guys like u can call yourself men much less make children smh garbage like this is why ppl think bring overly sensitive is okay I mean if it were an understandable cause I’D understand but masturbateing? It’s natural and probably EVERYONE does it hell ur wife and children probably do just would never tell u Cuz 1.it’s none of your business and 2.ur a fuckin prude xD

None of you business
None of you business
6 years ago
Reply to  bridgetbrown

So true XD

Truffle
6 years ago

The Island Mexican convict has neglected to take his medication, again.

Praying AT it!

Don Kiebals
Don Kiebals
6 years ago

This is spoof site right?

Liam McKey
6 years ago
Reply to  Don Kiebals

There is no spoofing the law. Follow the guidelines and you will be safe.

bridgetbrown
bridgetbrown
6 years ago
Reply to  Liam McKey

What law

jacobfranklin
jacobfranklin
6 years ago

I did not spoof or associate with Spoofers when it comes to masturbation.

me
me
6 years ago

You can’t just pay less because they MIGHT touch themselves. …. you still owe what you bought.
You give Christians a bad name. You’re the worst kind.

None of you business
None of you business
6 years ago

Do you guys want to give every waitress the “Finger Test” that would be hilarious. No guys you should actually make it one of those made up laws you guys keep creating off the spot. please convince everyone in this cult to sniff the fingers and hands of every waiter that services you. oh and don’t be surprised the next time you visit that tapestry, that your waiter/waitress spat in your food. You deserve it for being such a prick

Lonnie Childs
Admin
6 years ago

NOT a cult. Not a cult. Thank you.

None of your business
None of your business
6 years ago
Reply to  Lonnie Childs

and what makes you not a cult?

None of your business
None of your business
6 years ago
Reply to  Lonnie Childs

literal definition of cult is:
a system of religious veneration and devotion directed towards a particular figure or object.

And as of this cult is devoted to ridding the world of “Self-rape” is your motive. So yeah you are a cult.

Lonnie Childs
Admin
6 years ago

Fine, we’re a “cult” but not by your offensive and misleading definition. C.U.L.T. – Christians Under Lonnie’s Teachings – C.U.L.T. Praise!

None of your business
None of your business
6 years ago
Reply to  Lonnie Childs

It isn’t an abreviation and my definition is the globally accepted definition and how is it offensive or misleading? you guys literally named your website after your motive, Stop Masturbation Now, your belief

Lonnie Childs
Admin
6 years ago
Reply to  Lonnie Childs

Typical that you would sheepishly follow the “globally accepted definition” of something. Are you even capable of thinking for yourself?

None of your business
None of your business
6 years ago
Reply to  Lonnie Childs

well i’m just presenting proof that my definition is actually legitimate and yours is a 2 second thought up on the spot definition

Lonnie Childs
Admin
6 years ago
Reply to  Lonnie Childs

It was not “thought up on the spot”. After consulting with our tax attorney, we created the definition. For tax purposes, we are not a cult but an Alternative Religious Movement. Show some respect, you cretin.

None of your business
None of your business
6 years ago
Reply to  Lonnie Childs

an i would like you to answer my question or have you lost this argument because you know you are taking advantage of all the gullible people in America?

None of your business
None of your business
6 years ago
Reply to  Lonnie Childs

You are a cult no matter how you rephrase it you are still a cult and i’m no Cretin. Because if i was i would be in this “movement”

Lonnie Childs
Admin
6 years ago

Tipping servants should be outlawed anyways.

None of your business
None of your business
6 years ago
Reply to  Lonnie Childs

Why? literally what the economy system is, is exchange of goods for services and vise versa

None of your business
None of your business
6 years ago
Reply to  Lonnie Childs

so exchange your goods for their services.