Family Values / Morals / Trending

Christians Forsaking God To Make Room For iOS 8

Apple’s roll out of their new mobile operating system, iOS 8, has already met iPhone users with a host of new problems to contend with. Early reports are showing potential problems with iTunes replacing music files but that is a problem for users that can even download the update to their device to worry about. The iOS 8 update is reportedly over 1.5 GB and has caused several uses to have to delete things from their phones and tablets to complete the install. That’s a lot of space and the average iPhone user has their device loaded to capacity with photos, music, movies and applications.

In a disturbingly immoral trend, many Twitter users have chosen to forsake God and delete The Bible from their devices as evidenced below:

False Christian

“@RealRaymondJ” is not alone as dozens and dozens of “Christians” on Twitter have left similar messages explaining they are deleting their Bible App from their iPhone or iPad to make room for the iOS 8 update. A true “Christian” would never spit in the face of their Lord in such a fashion and this development has many religious leaders up in arms. Clearly in these false Christians eyes, apples like “Yik Yak”, “Followers+” and “Soundcloud” are more important to them than the second most important piece of literature humanity has seen.

Thankfully, the makers of Brother Lonnie’s Prayer Apps and the King Lonald Holy Bible app have been working on a patch that will prevent anyone from removing the apps from their device, short of a complete factory reset. While average Christians may accept this type of heretical nonsense, Brother Lonnie expects and will only accept 100% loyalty and His Holy app developers are acting accordingly.

The “delete the Bible” trend amongst today’s youth is just another example of the evils of the Apple corporation as well as the moral decay brought on by the Obama Administration. We didn’t see people in the 80s burning their Bibles to make room in their bookshelves for the new Stephen King novel, did we? No, we did not. Ronald Reagan and the religious leaders of the time would not have tolerated that kind of garbage whatsoever. But here we stand, in 2014, where deviants are digitally burning their Bibles and America has a leader that does nothing to stop it.

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6 years ago

I also read that all ios users were forced to listen to the new INXS album last Tuesday. What a crappy company.

Bob Dole
Bob Dole
6 years ago

Because everyone knows it’s impossible to re-install an app once it’s removed.

Dark Mercenary
6 years ago

I’m sorry that I fail you every moment I am alive and breathing Lonnie. I know I put on a big front here on your site, but really I cry myself to sleep at 11am most days because I’ve spent my entire day and evening pretending that I don’t know your love. Whenever I say I want to have intercourse with you, what I’m really saying is that I know I’m a sinner and do not have the strength inside myself to love you and Christ and do something meaningful with my life. Praise you, Lonnie for trying to help… Read more »

Liam McKey
6 years ago

If you had a copy, masturbating is the last thing you would be doing.

King loony Child Toucher

Wrong Mr wizard.

6 years ago

Atheists are the most tolerant, intelligent and morally superior beings on the planet. We should euthanize anyone who believes in God starting with Brother Lonnie and his ten inches of forgiveness.

Lonnie Childs
6 years ago
Reply to  Obamaluvr6969

I’ll never forget the day you forsook me and resumed masturbation, obamaluvr6969!

Dr. Cornelius Felcher
6 years ago

Even if all fall away on account of you, Lonnie, I will never will!