Celebrity / Sports

Professional Wrestling Fandom: A Lurid Den Of Masturbation

I happened upon a dark corner of the worldwide web recently and found a disturbing trend amongst fans of professional wrestling. It appeared that many of the fans could no longer just admire these athletes but had to sexualize them. Their desperate declarations of their sin activities done to photographs and moving images of these men and women of wrestling disgusted me. Initially I tried to forget what I had seen and just read the Bible (both versions, the censored King James version and the proper King Lonald version). However, a voice, likely Lonnie’s, entered my head and told me I had to share these horrifying images with the world by way of Lonnie’s netsite.

I will present a few of the horrifying images I found below:


This deviant masturbator is apparently only interested in Rosa Mendes doing his masturbation for him. Like most late-stage masturbators, he has specific requirements that must be met for him to achieve sin release. If Ms. Mendes is not naked, specifically in her house and doesn’t have a sexy look on her face, this deviant likely would be unable to achieve orgasm.


This discriminating masturbator finds the daughter of the chairman of the WWE is an acceptable victim for him to self-rape to. The fact that he achieves sin climax fast means that he is not an entirely corrupted masturbator and there is still a small shred of hope for him. He is also not yet in the later stages when the masturbation diseases have begun to set in, preventing a quick and timely climax.


This masturbator is just absurd and his actions prove that all masturbators have far too much disposable income. I think the U.S. Government needs to start taxing them at a higher rate. Fat chance that will happen during the pro-masturbation Obama administration. But we can hope and pray that change comes in 2016.


This deviant requires a comically oversized prop fist to receive pleasure. There is no saving them. They are not even worth Lonnie’s precious time.

It was not all terrifying though. I found a few people on the worldwide web who enjoy wrestling and who have morals that appear to be on the right path.


This wrestling fan was looking specifically to “mate” with Eva Marie which is potentially acceptable, assuming Lonnie approves of the union.


Finally. Some sanity.

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7 years ago

I pray they catch the EbolAIDS.

6 years ago
Reply to  Truffle

I pray you catch a .44 Magnum bullet with your left eye.

Poopy McPooper
7 years ago

i am masturbating right now xD

6 years ago
Reply to  Poopy McPooper

ME TOO! “Dr.” Tightanus is such a hot little fat and annoying motherfucker!