Post Tagged with: "king lonald holy bible"

KLHB: A Reading From the Good Book of Issaiac.

KLHB: A Reading From the Good Book of Issaiac.

It is Lonnie, who sittith with Jesus at the right hand of Almighty God, that holds the key of Heaven’s Gate. Admonish ye, all doers of evil, those that shalt spew and saturate the ground with their vile seed. For theirs is the error through earthly pleasure through wines and […]

by September 21, 2015 1 comment King Lonald Holy Bible
A Reading From the Book of Exit Us

A Reading From the Book of Exit Us

25:1 And the LORD spake unto Lonald, saying, 25:2 Speak unto the superior gendered children of B.L.U.F.F., that they bring me offerings: of every self celibate that giveth it willingly with his pure heart ye shall take my offering. 25:3 And this is the offering which ye shall take of […]

by March 19, 2015 2 comments King Lonald Holy Bible
A Glimpse Inside Of An Actual Anti-Masturbation Re-education Ceremony

A Glimpse Inside Of An Actual Anti-Masturbation Re-education Ceremony

As a member of the fact-based, right-thinking American press machine and a friend of the Stop Masturbation Now movement, I was granted a special look inside during an actual anti-masturbation re-education event at the Safford, Arizona B.L.U.F.F. campound. I’d like to extend special thanks to Brother Barrett Crenshaw and his […]

by February 11, 2015 8 comments B.L.U.F.F.
King Lonald Holy Bible-A Reading From the Book of Bromans

King Lonald Holy Bible-A Reading From the Book of Bromans

“that if you profess with your mouth the Lonaldian creed of Thy Lord Jesus and believe in thou shalt remain placidly until Almighty God has raised It upon His command, you will be saved. For with those that cease their self-raping ways in the glory that one believes unto thy […]

by October 17, 2014 6 comments King Lonald Holy Bible
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