King Lonald Holy Bible

A Reading From the Book of Exit Us

25:1 And the LORD spake unto Lonald, saying,
25:2 Speak unto the superior gendered children of B.L.U.F.F., that they bring me offerings: of every self celibate that giveth it willingly with his pure heart ye shall take my offering.
25:3 And this is the offering which ye shall take of them; beer, and steak, and voluptuous newbreast,
25:4 six packs of PBR, Coors, or Budweiser, none thou from Miller, thou foulest of foreign goat urine
25:5 skins of wool or linen decored in thy favorite football team or NASCAR driver carved on badgers’ skins, and shittim wood,
25:6 Oils for the lamp, spices for the grilling meats or fryer breadings, and for sweet incense, fine cigars
25:7 Onyx stones, to decorate the breastplates of moisture checked lessor gendered in graced with thy light and golden love as their ivory breasts shall be displayed.
25:8 And let them make me a sanctuary space on a functioning recliner; that I may have a beer and catch the game among them.
25:9 According to all that I shew thee, oh faithful Brother Lonald, after the pattern of the alters, and the patterns of all the tools thereof, even so shall ye make it.-C.Pen

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6 years ago

And so it shall be. Beautiful reminder of the good word Brother.

Editor in Chief, Pearly Gates Publishing
Editor in Chief, Pearly Gates Publishing
6 years ago

Why are these pages taped into the good book?