God, Lonnie, and Stop Masturbation Now; Building a Bridge For a Better Future!
TheRev Leroy Jenkins was born the oldest of 13 children in a small farm town of Sweet Apple, Oh. While on the farm he learned to fear god, a woman's place is in the kitchen, a mans place is to be the head of the household, and masturbation is a sin. At 18 TheRev left his small town and moved to Seattle to attend college, while there he was tempted by some filthy pot-weed injecting hippies to try masturbations, this led to a downward spiral of ellis dee bong hits, pot weed injections, listening to Milli Vanilli, and holding a sign saying "Will self rape for McNuggets." He was at his lowest point in his life when he was saved by Lonnie Childs of the Stop Masturbation Now church, Lonnie took him in, bathed him in his Holy Golden Shower of Truth, and educated him in FaithFacts™ and Brother Lonnie's University of FaithFacts™ in Stafford, AZ. TheRev was an avid student and earned his PHD of FaithFacts™ from B.L.U.FF and was sent out on a Mission to spread Lonnie's word to heathen Amish-Mexicans in rural Ohio. TheRev now resides in Ohio and runs the Ohio B.L.U.FF campus in Homersville, Oh with his 5 Same Race Assigned Spouses and his 23 Normal children. Brother Leroy is Senior Staff writer for B.L.U.FF Press LLC. In 2011 TheRev was awarded The Pulitzer Prize and Edward G. Murrow Award for his in depth expose' on the Myth of the Female Orgasm.
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Praise, Lonnie! Masturbators are a selfish lot and rarely think of how their actions affect the other animals (both domesticated and non-normal) around them.
Such a heartbreaking scenario, but you won’t see PETA ever take sides against Big Masturbation.
If it hurts your pets this much, just imagine what it is doing to your children.
Hi Lonny, I’ve been taught at school that the Third Reich leaders held collective masturbation AKA soggy biscuit parties. What can you tell us about that?
Masturbators make me SICK!