Disciples / Morals / World

Anticipation and Excitement as the Day of Hitching Approaches

Safford, AZ – July 16th – it promises to be a day filled with magic and love at the BLUFF Campound, as dozens of

Young females glance around excitedly at last year's Choosing.

Young females glance around excitedly as our young Men make their decisions at last year’s Choosing.

young men will be marrying their Initial Spouses in the Day of Hitching annual celebration. A tradition for Lonvidians, the Day of Hitching is approached with both excitement and dread for participants. Young men, barely

bearded at all, will look upon the eligible young lesser sex and choose who they want to have serve them for the rest of their lives. For the young ladies, it’s also a period of anticipation and uncertainty. Will they be chosen, will their husbands treat them as women should be treated – or will they be left out of the chosen females, forever to walk the Campound alone, shunned, aged and ashamed?

Practicing the standard Choosing Position before the event.

Practicing the standard Choosing Position before the event.

This year’s celebration looks to be our best ever on the Campound, with plenty of bread, singing, work in the fields and nighttime musical entertainment provided by Billy and the Men. As always, the Unchosen from previous years will be serving the traditional meal at 5 PM, immediately followed by a sermon from our very own Lonnie. A discussion regarding the human characteristics of Mexicans will be free and open to the public, although the night’s festivities are limited to members of the Campound only. The

Choosing of the Flesh will take place promptly at 8 PM, and all young men will then participate in the Group Marriage Ceremony in the South Field. All Unchosen will be banished from the central grounds immediately, and will be given two pairs of shoes and assigned living quarters on the outside perimeter area.

a group of the Unchosen attempt to watch the ceremony from their assigned seats during last year's event.

a group of the Unchosen attempt to watch the ceremony from their assigned seats during last year’s event.

Be sure and join us for the fun and joy that this year’s event will surely bring to our community, and help us praise our men for making sound and intelligent decisions regarding our breeding stock!

 

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Truffle
7 years ago

I still remember receiving my two pairs of shoes. Oh the shame 🙁 Still, I have my milking cats and Lonnies eternal love.

Praise!

shellyrichey
7 years ago
Reply to  Truffle

Did you get permission to comment on the website?

Truffle
7 years ago
Reply to  shellyrichey

One of the Brothers very kindly wrote my response, as mouse clicking is strictly prohibited by the lesser-gendered.

Bono Reznor
Bono Reznor
7 years ago

I’m 47 years old and still waiting for the day Lonnie allows me to participate in this.

Tywin Lannister
Tywin Lannister
7 years ago
Reply to  Bono Reznor

And a 47 year old virgin.