Disciples

Puppy Molested-Former SMN Deacon undergoes psychiatric testing

By TheRev Leroy Jenkins

EDWARDSVILLE, Ill. (BLUFF PRESS) – A southwestern Illinois man found mentally fit to stand trial on charges that he molested a puppy is waiting for court officials to decide if he’s a sexually dangerous person.

The National Report  reports former Stop Masturbation Now Inner Deacon & Same Race Normal 43-year-old Tom Downey has pleaded not guilty to three counts of sexual conduct with a female Rottweiler puppy.

The former SMN Deacon has been undergoing evaluations over whether he’s sexually dangerous. If he is deemed sexually dangerous during civil proceedings, he could be confined in prison until he no longer is considered dangerous.

A court-appointed psychologist has concluded that Downey isn’t sexually dangerous, but his recent relapse into masturbation addiction, may have caused him to have a minor psychiatric break from reality.

Downey has a record of sex offenses dating from 2003-2006 when he found salvation from the grips of his masturbation addiction at Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts.

Authorities say the dog instigated the alleged sexual acts, became aggressive after the alleged incidents, and was taken out back and shot 27 times by 3 officers until finally an officer had to smash it in the head with a brick. Fortunately the Edwardsville PD reported that the puppy did not suffer.

Copyright 2014 BLUFF Press, LLC. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

God Bless,

TheRev Leroy Jenkins

TheRev Leory Jenkins is a Sr. Staff Writer for BLUFF Press, LLC.

785-274-0325 or TheRev@bluff.us.edu

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Duc de Blangis
Duc de Blangis
6 years ago

Dear Sir, As editor and publisher of the niche magazine ‘L’Onaniste’, I would like to protest most strongly about the appalling misinformation peddled via your site. Our readership, which is comprised largely of thirteen year old boys, is rapidly declining due to the lies peddled via your online organ. We know, as you certainly do, that sexual climax, and the post-ejaculation mop-up, is one of the most innocent, and enjoyable, experiences available to humanity. And while Buzzcock’s Pete Shelley was right to describe it as ‘the habit that sticks’ in the delightful song ‘Orgasm Addict’, it is so, so much… Read more »

Liam McKey
6 years ago
Reply to  Duc de Blangis

As long as masturbation exists, there will be brave men and women here to fight it.

Darkblitzfrenzy
Darkblitzfrenzy
6 years ago
Reply to  Liam McKey

And as long as people fight against masturbation, there will always be brave men and women here to fight the lies that are being told.

gjdg
gjdg
6 years ago

Good job guys! This site is hilarious. I’m going to go touch myself now.

Truffle
6 years ago
Reply to  gjdg

Enjoy the wrist cancer and anal hemorrhaging!

penisman
6 years ago

Praise Lonnie, Ever since I found salvation here, I gave up sucking goats off for Ellis dee bong hits and I no longer touch young boys.
Thank You,
Penis (Now Flaccid) Man

Nucky Goldberg
Nucky Goldberg
6 years ago

I truly believe that the dog was a slut.

goatscashmere
6 years ago
Reply to  Nucky Goldberg

The dog wasn’t a slut, its clearly a bitch.

augustweisz
Admin
6 years ago

A better president wouldn’t allow this to happen.