(StopMasturbationNOW)—We find that there are two types of people in this world. Those who control their urges, don’t masturbate, and therefore lead happy productive healthy lives. Then there are those who live to serve their penis, ones who constantly need to touch it in a cycle of shame, insecurity, dependency, depression and disease.
Do you know which one you are? Take our quiz to determine if you are a wiener warrior or slave to your wiener?
[mlw_quizmaster quiz=1]
praise!
Thank you for the constructive criticism and I will immediately focus on things I can improve on. Praise!
I received a perfect score and confirmation of my salvation. Praise!
Apparently I have some areas that need work. But with brother Lonnie’s teachings and love along with the support and fellowship I get from the good folks at Stop Masturbation Now I know I to can lead a life of purity. Thank you Lonnie!
I don’t smoke, I tithe 20%
i don’t touch my sin stick
but i still got 65% how am i a slave?
If you start smoking that will gain you 20 points.
Obviously “in the asshole” you lied. I knew from your screen name that you are a total loser.
I scored “0”. WooHoo. I am the engineer on the train to Hell. ALL ABOARD fellow babies
Welcome to the 0 Club m8 😀
Congratulations to all those who earned a perfect score. I will pray at those who did not.
oh no i got sick last week and missed work how dreadful
If you didn’t masturbate your immune system would not be compromised.
I don’t masturbate so that can’t be it, maybe it was an airborne virus that entered my system?
I got a perfect score. I didn’t bother to take the test because Jesus told me that I’m perfect, right after I drank a quart of tequila one night. Jesus wouldn’t lie to me when I’m drunk.
I got a score of 80, what does this mean, i answered honestly (the score should have been perfect)
OH YEAH! I GOT A 0! HEIL HITLER! 666 IS MY LUCKY NUMBER! IBLEES AND SHAITAAN ARE MY TRUE GODS! GO SATAN ALL ABOARD THE TRAIN TO HELL HOP ABOARD!!!!!
Are you people for real? Besides why is it that so many of the church are and have been involved in sex scandals usually with minors, perhaps if they had a really good long masturbating session more often that sort of thing wouldn’t happen!
Hypocrites and parasites the lot of you!
A Men
How, exactly, are we “hypocrites”? We both preach AND practice a life of self-celibacy. Don’t make the mistake of lumping us in with those Mary-worshiping heathen Catholics who molest children. We are not associated with them in any way, shape or form. Praise!
I don’t masturbate, my priest does it for me to absolve me from eternal damnation. What a true saint Revered Smith is (especially when he warms his hands first)
nice one, what the fuck is it with these religious nutters, masturbation is a perfectly normal healthy activity…
Homie omg
0 YEEEEHAAAAAWWWW let’s go children of god
Yes alone and afraid! Everything looks like it’s going to go as planned! 😀
This is the most scientifically-faulty website I’ve ever had the horror of visiting.
I got a perfect score of Zero! Yes!!! I am going to go masturbate to some porn. Then I am going to masturbate with my wife! Oh yeah! Praise!!!
I got a 20 percent, it literally said that “any chance I had at a normal life is gone” lol