Faces of Masturbation

Are You Wiener Warrior or Slave to your Weiner? Interactive Quiz

(StopMasturbationNOW)—We find that there are two types of people in this world. Those who control their urges, don’t masturbate, and therefore lead happy productive healthy lives. Then there are those who live to serve their penis, ones who constantly need to touch it in a cycle of shame, insecurity, dependency, depression and disease.

Do you know which one you are? Take our quiz to determine if you are a wiener warrior or slave to your wiener?

[mlw_quizmaster quiz=1]

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flomgirl
6 years ago

praise!

Brother Tim
Brother Tim
6 years ago

Thank you for the constructive criticism and I will immediately focus on things I can improve on. Praise!

Cassidy Pen
6 years ago

I received a perfect score and confirmation of my salvation. Praise!

Nigel Covington
6 years ago

Apparently I have some areas that need work. But with brother Lonnie’s teachings and love along with the support and fellowship I get from the good folks at Stop Masturbation Now I know I to can lead a life of purity. Thank you Lonnie!

in the asshole
in the asshole
6 years ago

I don’t smoke, I tithe 20%
i don’t touch my sin stick
but i still got 65% how am i a slave?

augustweisz
Admin
6 years ago
Reply to  in the asshole

If you start smoking that will gain you 20 points.

Nigel Covington
6 years ago
Reply to  in the asshole

Obviously “in the asshole” you lied. I knew from your screen name that you are a total loser.

The Reverend Buck Futter
The Reverend Buck Futter
6 years ago

I scored “0”. WooHoo. I am the engineer on the train to Hell. ALL ABOARD fellow babies

nope not gonna tell
nope not gonna tell
6 years ago

Welcome to the 0 Club m8 😀

Lonnie Childs
Admin
6 years ago

Congratulations to all those who earned a perfect score. I will pray at those who did not.

Alex The Great
6 years ago

oh no i got sick last week and missed work how dreadful

augustweisz
Admin
6 years ago
Reply to  Alex The Great

If you didn’t masturbate your immune system would not be compromised.

Alex The Great
6 years ago
Reply to  augustweisz

I don’t masturbate so that can’t be it, maybe it was an airborne virus that entered my system?

blessed shots
blessed shots
6 years ago

I got a perfect score. I didn’t bother to take the test because Jesus told me that I’m perfect, right after I drank a quart of tequila one night. Jesus wouldn’t lie to me when I’m drunk.

Chloe Cunningham
Chloe Cunningham
6 years ago

I got a score of 80, what does this mean, i answered honestly (the score should have been perfect)

666 is my name. What's yours?
666 is my name. What's yours?
6 years ago

OH YEAH! I GOT A 0! HEIL HITLER! 666 IS MY LUCKY NUMBER! IBLEES AND SHAITAAN ARE MY TRUE GODS! GO SATAN ALL ABOARD THE TRAIN TO HELL HOP ABOARD!!!!!

A Stroker
A Stroker
6 years ago

Are you people for real? Besides why is it that so many of the church are and have been involved in sex scandals usually with minors, perhaps if they had a really good long masturbating session more often that sort of thing wouldn’t happen!
Hypocrites and parasites the lot of you!
A Men

Lonnie Childs
Admin
6 years ago
Reply to  A Stroker

How, exactly, are we “hypocrites”? We both preach AND practice a life of self-celibacy. Don’t make the mistake of lumping us in with those Mary-worshiping heathen Catholics who molest children. We are not associated with them in any way, shape or form. Praise!

Little Eric
Little Eric
6 years ago

I don’t masturbate, my priest does it for me to absolve me from eternal damnation. What a true saint Revered Smith is (especially when he warms his hands first)

alan
alan
6 years ago
Reply to  Little Eric

nice one, what the fuck is it with these religious nutters, masturbation is a perfectly normal healthy activity…

Deer
Deer
6 years ago
Reply to  Little Eric

Homie omg

Deer
Deer
6 years ago

0 YEEEEHAAAAAWWWW let’s go children of god

Fred Flinstone
Fred Flinstone
6 years ago

Yes alone and afraid! Everything looks like it’s going to go as planned! 😀

john
6 years ago

This is the most scientifically-faulty website I’ve ever had the horror of visiting.

Mac
Mac
6 years ago

I got a perfect score of Zero! Yes!!! I am going to go masturbate to some porn. Then I am going to masturbate with my wife! Oh yeah! Praise!!!

D Town
D Town
5 years ago

I got a 20 percent, it literally said that “any chance I had at a normal life is gone” lol