Animals / History / Supernatural Disaster

Top Five Animals To Go Extinct From Masturbation

NATURAL HISTORY-(SMNNN)

Throughout the approximately 8,500 years the world has existed, many animals have gone extinct, but only a few notable animals have gone extinct from masturbation.

Here’s a list of the top five:

thylacine

1) The Tasmanian Tiger.

The thylacine was the first large cat to go extinct from masturbation

White Rhino

2) The Great Normal Rhinoceros

Though his name suggests he is a great beast, the Great Normal Rhinoceros became extinct because of hornplay and masturbation.

dodo bird

3) The Do-Do Bird

Like seriously, do we even have to explain how extinct these masturbating birds went?

giraffe

4) The Giraffe

The Giraffe, also know as Nature’s Joke, had such difficulty mating, that it surprised no one when they all went totally extinct. Giraffes were known to masturbate profusely, as much as 23 hours at a time.

triceratops

5) Dragons

Dragons, being evil reptilian slaves of Satan, masturbated themselves to extinction almost as soon as they appeared on the Earth.

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A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
6 years ago

The Tasmanian Tiger and Dodo went extinct from over hunting, the Great Normal Rhino isn’t a real species, the giraffe isn’t extinct, I saw one on my Safari last year, and by dragons you must mean Dinosaurs which went extinct by an asteroid strike millions of years ago, and the world has existed for 4.8 billion years, not 8,500 years.

Saved by Truth
Saved by Truth
6 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

Go and die as quickly as possible so your punishment in Hell can begin.

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
6 years ago
Reply to  Saved by Truth

For not Having an IQ of 75?

Saved by Truth
Saved by Truth
6 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

For being a pesky minion of Satan!

Science2
Science2
6 years ago
Reply to  Saved by Truth

Nope. it´s your IQ-thing.

Thomas Kelly
Thomas Kelly
6 years ago
Reply to  Saved by Truth

I don’t know where you get your information from “A Smart Guy”, but I fact-checked this whole article myself, and I agree 175% with what I write.

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
6 years ago

Oh, and not all dinosaurs were reptilian, most are more related to a chicken then a lizard

Lonnie Childs
Admin
6 years ago

I’m glad that dragons are gone the most.

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
6 years ago
Reply to  Lonnie Childs

Dragons in myths are reptilian, most dinosaurs were avian, so dinosaurs can’t be dragons as dragons never existed but if they did, they wouldn’t be related to dinosaurs

Lonnie Childs
Admin
6 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

Your name is a myth.

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
6 years ago
Reply to  Lonnie Childs

To you

Science2
Science2
6 years ago
Reply to  Lonnie Childs

Lol the “Dr.” is pissed off.

Bruce Danus
6 years ago

When Noah didn’t allow the dinosaurs on his Ark, the dinosaurs started protesting for equal rights, just like the gays and masturbators, and they are extinct now, just like gays and masturbators will be soon.

Science2
Science2
6 years ago
Reply to  Bruce Danus

Noah punctured your sorry ass Mr ANUS! Without a D! LOL! Don´t even try to get this, 25 IQ-points are not enogh to get this. Dork.

Thomas Kelly
Thomas Kelly
6 years ago
Reply to  Science2

What the hecks does this comment even mean? PRO-TIP : Try typing with your eyes open!

Dennis
6 years ago

So am I going to be extinct, thought I would go blind instead.

RoxaneBrite
RoxaneBrite
6 years ago

k firstly both giraffes and rhinos are not extinct…secondly dragons do not exist and thirdly dodos were brought to extinction thru poaching….they lived on a island with no predators so when humans came to that said island and were able to kill them so easily they started calling them dumb thus the name dodo. Also this must only apply to half of the population of these animals since females of most breeds except humans and a type of tortoise do not orgasm so why would they masturbate in the first place. Also why would ‘god’ give humans orgasms if it… Read more »

Truffle
6 years ago
Reply to  RoxaneBrite

Oh my! Extreme verbosity alert. I sure hope you don’t talk at your superior SRAS in that manner and if you do, I pray that he disciplines you accordingly. Lesser gendereds should be seen occasionally and heard minimally!

RoxaneBrite
RoxaneBrite
6 years ago
Reply to  Truffle

I love how angry you are getting for my speaking the truth, it just shows how right my argument is. And since I am a female I should not speak my own mind? Wow this is the 21 century get off your high horse and look at the real world there are females in charge of huge corporations yet there is you being a sexist why? Because I have a valid argument and your little ego cannot handle it. There is a reason why feminists exist to help even out the world and make everyone equal as it should be.… Read more »

Truffle
6 years ago
Reply to  RoxaneBrite

I am a lesser-gendered species, only I know my place in society. Beneath superior menfolk and farm animals…the same as you. Feminism is a disgusting weapon to use, just because you cannot get your own selfish way. The sooner you accept you are NOT equal to men, the better it will be for all humankind.

Praying AT you!

RoxaneBrite
RoxaneBrite
6 years ago
Reply to  Truffle

So your saying that females are a different species from males and and animals??? sorry but thats invalid….also feminism was made to give women a chance to speak their mind openly and freely the same as how races are now equal in society and homosexuals we are all equal in the end and if you want to go down the christian route we are all made in gods image of him and that we are all the same, we women are not made just to please men but to be as one with them and be companions not slaves to… Read more »

Science2
Science2
6 years ago
Reply to  Truffle

You are a suboptimal species. You and all those pesky Motherfuckers that actually believe that shit.

Thomas Kelly
Thomas Kelly
6 years ago
Reply to  Truffle

If, masturbator, you wish to debunk and denounce THE WILL OF LONNIE AND GOD through literary criticism, it would behoove you to learn proper paragraph structure and other basic English grammar,

Alfonso
6 years ago

is this website for real??? you gotta be kidding!!! and exactly, how Christian is to tell someone to die just because they actually throw some facts on your otherwise incredibly fantasied article??

KK
KK
6 years ago

you’re joking, right?

Don wallace
Don wallace
6 years ago

wow your given us Christians a bad name with these “faith scientists”

Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ
6 years ago

Come my disciples abandon this site I honestly don’t give a fuck if your gay or masturbate joe verse :420