Morals / Science / Self-Rape Prevention / Trending

Graphs Prove SMN Ministries Right

SAFFORD-ARIZONA, B.L.U.F.F CAMPUS. (SMNNN)

New graphs released by B.L.U.F.F and The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow, reaffirm what B.L.U.F.F. quite loudly proclaimed, they knew all along.

The most recent graph relates the increase in masturbations done in urban settings, within the United States of America, over the past five years, to such global problems as Obamacare, Juggalos and global warmings. The graph, composed of cylinders of a raspberry,  tangerine, blue and fresh-cut grass  color, clearly show an intricate relationship between the things I have mention previously in this article.

Masturbation may be the catalyst of Obama's many failures.  Yes feel sad, you sad failure!

Masturbation may be the catalyst of Obama’s many failures.
Yes feel sad, you sad failure!

Naturally, some Juggalos have moaned and growled (We can only assume, their guttural noises are speech of some sort.) in protest, but were quickly placated with Ketamine darts by SMN Enforcer Officers.

This Juggalo won't be throwing his "poo" at anyone. SMN Enforcers are primarily saved members of the Yakuza! Praise SMN sponsor Fuji Heavy industries!

This Juggalo won’t be throwing his “poo” at anyone.
SMN Enforcers are primarily saved members of the Yakuza!
Praise SMN sponsor Fuji Heavy industries!

The Reverend Leroy Jenkins had this to say on the matter. ” Well no S*** Sherlock. I swear you are wasting B.L.U.F.F.’s money.”. Rev Jenkins was then taken to Carmen Antony’s Steakhouse, and no further statements were made.

Dr Walito Espisito, renowned Mexican-normalized, rhyming named doctor of B.L.U.F.F believes these graphs to be a very important factor in giving SMN, FFTABT and BLUFF much needed credibility. ” Eh, we like graphs. E’rybody like graphs, meng. Praise” Said Dr Espisito.

"Hey, all's well that l0oks good, eh?"- Dr Espisito

“Hey, all’s well that looks good, eh?”- Dr Espisito

The graph program, aimed at making lots and lots of graphs for all kinds of things Stop Masturbation Now wishes to prove, is the most expensive graph generation operation of all time, costing a ridiculous 1.7 billion dollars a year.

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Tywin Lannister
Tywin Lannister
6 years ago

Didnt you mention ‘Graphs’, all i see here is just one graph.

augustweisz
Admin
6 years ago

Lets see liberals try and lie their way out of these facts!

Thomas Kelly
Thomas Kelly
6 years ago

Tywin, here are many, many, many graphs. They will all receive a published article.

Cathy Redmond
6 years ago
Reply to  Thomas Kelly

Don’t worry, Brother Thomas. I will say things like “4 Risky Ways” and the masturbators will comment with ones I “forgot”.

Praise.

Thomas Kelly
Thomas Kelly
6 years ago

*there*

Damn this communist keyboard hating my freedom!

Tywin Lannister
Tywin Lannister
6 years ago
Reply to  Thomas Kelly

my uncle owns a stationary shop, he too has many, many, many graphs.
Does that make him better than Lonnie?

Thomas Kelly
Thomas Kelly
6 years ago

No.

Leonard Chimball, Jr.
Leonard Chimball, Jr.
6 years ago

Praise Lonnie!