Morals / Science / Self-Rape Prevention

The Dangers of Inappropriate Office Boners (I.O.B.) and How to Stop Them!

Have you ever been afflicted by an Inappropriate Office Boner (I.O.B.) at work? It’s an embarrassing condition that can be caused by one of the following three things: too-tight slacks, the tawdry new intern and her suggestive clothing, or thoughts of carpet bombing a foreign nation such as Canada.

The most effective way to rid yourself of the I.O.B. is to discreetly slip off into the men’s room and place a cold spoon on the offending organ. I know it sounds crazy but it works! It’s advisable that you keep a collection of spoons in the office freezer for such occasions.

**CAUTION — UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU SUBSTITUTE A SPORK**

Remember that self-rape in the broom closet is NEVER an option. Bless!

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Spaghetti Sunday
Spaghetti Sunday
6 years ago

Not funny. Just lame

John Morgan
John Morgan
3 years ago

This has to be satire, right?!

Master baiter
5 months ago

Pls tell me this is a joke 💀

ilikepenis
ilikepenis
4 months ago
Reply to  Master baiter

NO, YOU SHOULD NOT MASTURBATE AT ALL

Cthulu
Cthulu
3 months ago

Nobody gonna bring up the “horny at the thought of carpet bombing FUCKING CANADA? This website is bullshit. I dont care if it’s a joke. The amount of racism and homophobia that happens on here is astonishing.