Masturbators Replace Halloween Costumes with Dinguses

(StopMasturbationNOW)—Once a proud Christian holiday, Halloween was filled with candy, kids costumes, and pumpkins However this year masturbators have decided to ruin Halloween for everyone by turning innocent costumes into dinguses.

The Unicorn Vibrator

“Have a good time at the costume party then go home and self-rape” Is what this product screams at its owner. “Put me in your sin cave” Something like you’d see at hdpornvideo or similar.

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The Wizard Nose

Marketed at the “realistic look and feel” crowd. The wizard nose is nothing but a penis, testicles and gray hair.

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The Cat Anal Plug The homosexuals self-rape their anal cavities all the time using products from loveplugs.co. Whilst this is at least a safer option for them, the market is growing. And the cat strap on anal plug is marketed at that growing homesexual market.

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If you see any of these products in your household throw them away and suggest something more innocent like a girl scout costume.

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47 Comments on Masturbators Replace Halloween Costumes with Dinguses

  1. Halloween, for a while now, has been a pagan holiday that celebrates gluttony, depravity and loose morals. I spend the final week of October flyering my neighborhood with a twenty page pamphlet describing all of the ways that Halloween is poisonous to their children. I also work closely with several local church groups trying to persuade the local city council to outlaw this hedonistic “holiday” being celebrated within our city limits. So far we have two council members on our side. Slowly making progress. I appreciate Senator Weisz for taking a stand here on this site and exposing yet another way Halloween is damaging to our nation’s children.

  2. This is frightening! If anyone knock’s at my door with a unicorn dingus strapped to their forehead, they will be greated with a bucket of boiling engine oil.

          • You may enjoy being raped by unicorn dinguses, because masturbator. Righteous, God fearing Lonvidians, do not.

          • I don’t, but just because someone is wearing a unicorn horn doesn’t mean they’re going to rape you. By your logic (which is nonexistent) my 2 year old daughter will be raping people this Halloween

          • If ANY of these masturbators dare set foot on my lawn, Ol’ Tessie, my cocked and loaded double-barreled shottie will be the first (and last) thing they see! I don’t care how old they are!

          • I’m not gay, I have a beautiful (and Hispanic and I’m Caucasian) wife and a two year old daughter and a 4 month old son, so I’m not gay (if I was, what’s so bad about that, God wants everybody to be happy), I work at NASA and help gain knowledge for this world with my doctorate in aerospace engineering, I go to church and got married in a Catholic Church, so how am I a heathen?

          • Listen up Not So Smart Guy, everyone knows the Earth is flat and the moon is made of cheese. Just because you clean urinals at NASCAR, that does not make you better than everyone else!

          • The moon is made of silica, alumina, lime, iron(II) oxide, magnesia, titanium dioxide, and sodium oxide, not cheese, that’s impossible as there are no animals on the moon that can produce dairy products, or and life at all, it’s just a big lump of minerals that’s the only reason humans evolved intelligence, fish evolved lungs, and basically the reason for life on Earth. And speaking of our lovely planet that is a sphere, basic physics would cause Earth to be a sphere, and even if that doesn’t convince you, people have seen its a sphere since 1961, and I say people so you can’t say that the probes were defective. Now why don’t you shut up and accept that your 2000 year old book is proven wrong by modern scientists, ok? Oh, I don’t clean urinals at NASCAR, I work in engineering at NASA’s JPL (Jet Propulsion Laboratory)

          • “Smart Guy” was fired from The NASA for pushing the big red button… he thought it said “LUNCH”!

          • I don’t work in the launch procedures, I work at he whole building the rocket thing. Or if they need to test something, then I help in that, for instinct back when Spirit was operational, I helped test a copy of her to see if we could approach what looked to be water ice

          • So if some of Lonnie’s flock showed up at NASA and said, A Smart Guy works here, would they allow us to question your ridiculous theories?

          • They’re not theories, they’re facts, and everyone there is pretty smart, I mean you need 4 years of college to work as a basic job, I didn’t get any serious jobs until 2008, after 7 years of college (I didn’t graduate until 2011, that’s 10 years of getting a doctorate)

          • So is that an invitation, Not So Smart Guy? We will be requiring lunch as well or a buffet of some description would also be acceptable.

          • And expect to be arrested for trespassing on government property, you need clearance to get in legally, your religious crap isn’t clearance, you understand?

    • You are such a nice “christian”. I think “Dr.” Tightanus has brainfucked you a lttle bit too hard…

  3. Masturbating with a wizard nose will result in your vagina developing a wizard sleeve, which will surely result in a divorce.

  4. The last time someone in a costume came at my door I pulled them in then started to mutilate their genitals, then I cut the rest of their body up and castrated them, then put them in a furnace and waited until they were almost dead, then I started the eat the burnt remains while he was writhing in pain

      • You would feed children with poison rather than with spiritual nourishment? No wonder your two year old daughter self-rapes!

        • You say that but the kids love it. And she’s 2. She doesn’t even know how to put on clothes, take a bath, serve her own food, etc.

          • It’s not abuse, I don’t give them a lot at a time, all the kids on the block like it, oh yes, they have a good mom and dad (who aren’t the same race) who give them snickers, which caused an argument with me and my wife, Hershey’s or Snickers? So report me for child abuse and the cops would call you stupid. I mean why would I teach them to pray, I mean my family’s not very religious, why should I teach them a 2000 year old book, instead of the newest 2 month year old books written by modern scientists? Of course they can’t read, so they wouldn’t understand it anyway, but maybe when they’re older?

  5. A Smart Guy, you are a hero. Personally, I believe in God, the same these asshats believe in. The difference with me is that I dont go to people and say, ¨Believe in what I believe in, or you will go to Hell forever.Mwahahaha!!!!” I respect other peoples beliefs and religions. These people just force theirs on everyone. I know we will never be able to truly know how the universe was created, and life, and what happens after we die, if anything, but what i do know, is that science has proven almost everytjing, and if puh comes to shove, I will be glad to trust the people in lab coats who have done countless reasearch over the forcing fuck faces. What LONNIE needs to learn, is that you need to tell people God loves them to get them to join your cause, not to fear God.
    P.S.
    OCHIN-CHIN DAISKAIOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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