Big Masturbation / Morals

Masturbators Replace Halloween Costumes with Dinguses

(StopMasturbationNOW)—Once a proud Christian holiday, Halloween was filled with candy, kids costumes, and pumpkins However this year masturbators have decided to ruin Halloween for everyone by turning innocent costumes into dinguses.

The Unicorn Vibrator

“Have a good time at the costume party then go home and self-rape” Is what this product screams at its owner. “Put me in your sin cave” Something like you’d see at hdpornvideo or similar.

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The Wizard Nose

Marketed at the “realistic look and feel” crowd. The wizard nose is nothing but a penis, testicles and gray hair.

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The Cat Anal Plug The homosexuals self-rape their anal cavities all the time using products from loveplugs.co. Whilst this is at least a safer option for them, the market is growing. And the cat strap on anal plug is marketed at that growing homesexual market.

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If you see any of these products in your household throw them away and suggest something more innocent like a girl scout costume.

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Ken Day
Ken Day
7 years ago

Halloween, for a while now, has been a pagan holiday that celebrates gluttony, depravity and loose morals. I spend the final week of October flyering my neighborhood with a twenty page pamphlet describing all of the ways that Halloween is poisonous to their children. I also work closely with several local church groups trying to persuade the local city council to outlaw this hedonistic “holiday” being celebrated within our city limits. So far we have two council members on our side. Slowly making progress. I appreciate Senator Weisz for taking a stand here on this site and exposing yet another… Read more »

Truffle
7 years ago

This is frightening! If anyone knock’s at my door with a unicorn dingus strapped to their forehead, they will be greated with a bucket of boiling engine oil.

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
7 years ago
Reply to  Truffle

3 guesses who will get arrested on Halloween (it’s Truffle for the idiots in the group)

Truffle
7 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

The police are on our side, not so smart guy. It’s called self-defense.

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
7 years ago
Reply to  Truffle

defending against a costume?

Truffle
7 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

You may enjoy being raped by unicorn dinguses, because masturbator. Righteous, God fearing Lonvidians, do not.

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
7 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

I don’t, but just because someone is wearing a unicorn horn doesn’t mean they’re going to rape you. By your logic (which is nonexistent) my 2 year old daughter will be raping people this Halloween

Lonnie Childs
Admin
7 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

If ANY of these masturbators dare set foot on my lawn, Ol’ Tessie, my cocked and loaded double-barreled shottie will be the first (and last) thing they see! I don’t care how old they are!

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
7 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

So a two year old can masturbate?

Cairo
Cairo
7 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

Heathen! No one is to commit the sins of self rape! Repent of your Homogay™ life!

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
7 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

I’m not gay, I have a beautiful (and Hispanic and I’m Caucasian) wife and a two year old daughter and a 4 month old son, so I’m not gay (if I was, what’s so bad about that, God wants everybody to be happy), I work at NASA and help gain knowledge for this world with my doctorate in aerospace engineering, I go to church and got married in a Catholic Church, so how am I a heathen?

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
7 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

And Lonnie, You would kill a two year old because they have a unicorn horn?

Truffle
7 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

Listen up Not So Smart Guy, everyone knows the Earth is flat and the moon is made of cheese. Just because you clean urinals at NASCAR, that does not make you better than everyone else!

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
7 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

The moon is made of silica, alumina, lime, iron(II) oxide, magnesia, titanium dioxide, and sodium oxide, not cheese, that’s impossible as there are no animals on the moon that can produce dairy products, or and life at all, it’s just a big lump of minerals that’s the only reason humans evolved intelligence, fish evolved lungs, and basically the reason for life on Earth. And speaking of our lovely planet that is a sphere, basic physics would cause Earth to be a sphere, and even if that doesn’t convince you, people have seen its a sphere since 1961, and I say… Read more »

Milton Grits
7 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

“Smart Guy” was fired from The NASA for pushing the big red button… he thought it said “LUNCH”!

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
7 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

I don’t work in the launch procedures, I work at he whole building the rocket thing. Or if they need to test something, then I help in that, for instinct back when Spirit was operational, I helped test a copy of her to see if we could approach what looked to be water ice

Truffle
7 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

So if some of Lonnie’s flock showed up at NASA and said, A Smart Guy works here, would they allow us to question your ridiculous theories?

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
7 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

They’re not theories, they’re facts, and everyone there is pretty smart, I mean you need 4 years of college to work as a basic job, I didn’t get any serious jobs until 2008, after 7 years of college (I didn’t graduate until 2011, that’s 10 years of getting a doctorate)

dexterbattygarteniii
7 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

I am just amazed he’s going to send his two year old daughter out raping people on Halloween. society just gets sicker with every passing day.

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
7 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

I was being sarcastic dumbass

Truffle
7 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

So is that an invitation, Not So Smart Guy? We will be requiring lunch as well or a buffet of some description would also be acceptable.

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
7 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

Ok, if you can get clearance, I work where there is no tour and I’m not giving you clearance

Truffle
7 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

We don’t need clearance, we have God and Lonnie with us. Expect us.

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
7 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

And expect to be arrested for trespassing on government property, you need clearance to get in legally, your religious crap isn’t clearance, you understand?

dexterbattygarteniii
7 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

Will there still be a buffet lunch though?

Truffle
7 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

I will insist on it, Brother Dexter!

LanceHardwoodFAPFAPFAP
LanceHardwoodFAPFAPFAP
7 years ago
Reply to  Truffle

You are such a nice “christian”. I think “Dr.” Tightanus has brainfucked you a lttle bit too hard…

Nikita Shalavin
7 years ago

Masturbating with a wizard nose will result in your vagina developing a wizard sleeve, which will surely result in a divorce.

LanceHardwoodFAPFAPFAP
LanceHardwoodFAPFAPFAP
7 years ago

Oh look! The ass-loving ultra-gay pirate is back! ARRRRRR!!!!!

LONNIE
7 years ago

The last time someone in a costume came at my door I pulled them in then started to mutilate their genitals, then I cut the rest of their body up and castrated them, then put them in a furnace and waited until they were almost dead, then I started the eat the burnt remains while he was writhing in pain

Godzilla
Godzilla
6 years ago
Reply to  LONNIE

Lonnie Child’s how could you

Jack McFappington
Jack McFappington
7 years ago

I just rubbed one out to the picture of the girl in the scout uniform

Lonnie Childs
Admin
7 years ago

I guess you think you’re cool now, or something. Pathetic.

LanceHardwoodFAPFAPFAP
LanceHardwoodFAPFAPFAP
7 years ago
Reply to  Lonnie Childs

Hey look! “Dr.” Tightanus is talking about beeing pathetic! Oh the irony… LOL!!!

Lonnie Childs
Admin
7 years ago

I can’t wait for the children to stop by! I will be handing out Chick Tracts once again!

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
7 years ago
Reply to  Lonnie Childs

And I’ll be handing out full size snicker bars because I’m not a bible thumping cult leader!

Julian Taylor
7 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

You would feed children with poison rather than with spiritual nourishment? No wonder your two year old daughter self-rapes!

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
7 years ago
Reply to  Julian Taylor

You say that but the kids love it. And she’s 2. She doesn’t even know how to put on clothes, take a bath, serve her own food, etc.

Julian Taylor
7 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

You should stop abusing your children!

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
7 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

It’s not a

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
7 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

It’s not abuse, I don’t give them a lot at a time, all the kids on the block like it, oh yes, they have a good mom and dad (who aren’t the same race) who give them snickers, which caused an argument with me and my wife, Hershey’s or Snickers? So report me for child abuse and the cops would call you stupid. I mean why would I teach them to pray, I mean my family’s not very religious, why should I teach them a 2000 year old book, instead of the newest 2 month year old books written by… Read more »

LanceHardwoodFAPFAPFAP
LanceHardwoodFAPFAPFAP
7 years ago
Reply to  Julian Taylor

I gonna rape your ugly face.

LanceHardwoodFAPFAPFAP
LanceHardwoodFAPFAPFAP
7 years ago
Reply to  Lonnie Childs

I think you just gonna screw them hard and deep! WHITE TRASH STYLE BABY!

Cassidy Pen
7 years ago

I’ll be handing out prayer cards.

LanceHardwoodFAPFAPFAP
LanceHardwoodFAPFAPFAP
7 years ago

I would lick her clit until she arrives in Nirvana. AND I MAKE YOU WATCH “Dr.” TIGHTANUS!

Filthy Frank
Filthy Frank
5 years ago

A Smart Guy, you are a hero. Personally, I believe in God, the same these asshats believe in. The difference with me is that I dont go to people and say, ¨Believe in what I believe in, or you will go to Hell forever.Mwahahaha!!!!” I respect other peoples beliefs and religions. These people just force theirs on everyone. I know we will never be able to truly know how the universe was created, and life, and what happens after we die, if anything, but what i do know, is that science has proven almost everytjing, and if puh comes to… Read more »