Disciples / Fappy / Money / Morals / Trending

Monsanto and B.L.U.F.F To Create Actual Fappy Mascot

SAFFORD-ARIZONA (SMNNN)

Brother Dr. Skippy Enis, B.L.U.F.F liaison to Monsanto Company announced today that the huge multi-national poison, tasty food, and G.M.O, super corporation, has begun production of the first human/dolphin chimera.

The x-rays of the Growthpod (tm) look promising.

The x-rays of the Growthpod ™ look promising.

Says Dr. Enis, ” Brother Lonnie Childs himself, and his personal attache Doug Pinnick, have been in talks for many years with Monsanto Company regarding this project. Long ago, it was decided that the possibility of a human wearing a furry dolphin suit might not be enough to stop the dangerous practice of masturbation, is indeed, possible. ”

Mosanto Company  is the #1 poison and GMO chimera company on Earth.

Mosanto Company is the #1 poison and GMO chimera company on Earth.

This fact is made glaringly evident by the trials and tribulations of ill-fated current mascot Paul Horner, who this week alone, has been arrested 22 times for public indecency.

Monsanto Company is confident it has addressed this problem to the fullest. Says Dr Enis, ” The man in the suit, Mr. Horner, is the problem. However, despite his frequent public shaming, he continues with his spiel. That is why we have crossed his own often wasted D.N.A with that of the preserved remains of Original Fappy The Dolphin. This chimera will succeed where the man in a furry suit cannot, and nay, will not. ”  He then went on to add the military potential of this creation has limitless profit potential as well.

Imagine a glorious navy of these guys! GOD BLESS AMERICA!!

Imagine a glorious navy of these guys! GOD BLESS AMERICA!!

The combination of the two D.N.As is indeed a banner moment for Faithscience and Mad Science, and has attracted public outrage from stupid people. Says one such idiot ” This is the stupidest thing I have heard”. That man no doubt later died while masturbating with his own  feces.

One might question the moral and environmental consequences of crossing a man with a dolphin, but Brother Dr. Enis ensures us it is all for the good. Says Enis, ” The Good Lord never speaks of his own accord. Well, Brother Lonnie only speaks of the Lord’s accord. “

avatar
7 Comment threads
2 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
8 Comment authors
FeelingmyselfTruffleMasterbatinAllDayCathy RedmondBono Reznor Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
newest oldest most voted
Notify of
augustweisz
Admin

I love my Monsanto stock.

Thomas Kelly
Guest
Thomas Kelly

I do question how the Navy super dolphin soldier put on his swim trunks…

Sifter
Guest
Sifter

My balls feel holier since people have prayed for me. Thanks for the hands-on prayers!

Bono Reznor
Guest
Bono Reznor

One of my Father’s shell companies in Eastern Europe was working on chimeras like this. It is highly possible that Monsanto is already working with them, but if not I can get them in touch. Father’s company was responsible for the creatures in the documentaries “Cloverfield” and “Godzilla” so something as simple as a man-dolphin mascot would be something they could put together quite quickly. Again, though, if this is already happening do not mind me. I haven’t spoken to Father in a while since it out to sea right now.

Bono Reznor
Guest
Bono Reznor

*he is out to sea right now.

Too much BBQ grease on the keyboard this afternoon.

Cathy Redmond
Member

Just think, after they perfect this chimera – maybe Monsanto can start making chimera athletes and chimera super soldiers. Any time some other nation decides they’re some big deal in the Olympics or in a war, Monsanto and America can just quickly put them in their place with no effort and without wasting the energy and lives of our normal citizens.

Truly groundbreaking work being done at Monsanto these days. Praise them.

MasterbatinAllDay
Guest

I got off on this dolphin

Truffle
Member

REPORTED TO PETA!

Feelingmyself
Guest
Feelingmyself

I love to touch myself until that frothy cum comes out my cock