History / Morals / Politics / Self-Rape Prevention

3 American Patriots Shamed For Denouncing Self-Rape

I’m sure we’re all aware of how Great American patriots like Todd Akin consistently get shamed by the media for their unconventional views on self-rape. Considering we’re now six years into the nightmare that has been the Obama Administration, such things, while not accepted, are unfortunately expected. However, over the years many Americans have stood up to the special interests in Washington and tried to make a difference. Todd Akin is just another in a long line of great men who have tried to do the right thing and were crucified for their beliefs. Big Masturbation controlled history has tried to erase these men and their vision from the record books but we will let their good sense be immortalized on this netsite.


 3. Avery “Rowdy” McGrath (Lt. Governor of Wyoming Territory – 1886)

Avery "Rowdy" McGrath

Appointed at age 13 after a bar argument turned deadly, Avery “Rowdy” McGrath was a pioneer of the anti-self-rape movement in the Old West. A devout Christian, McGrath ruled the Wyoming Territory, along with Governor George W. Baxter with an iron fist. He single-handedly shut down two of the largest brothels and on several occasions had men hanged for being caught self-raping. Despite his young age, McGrath had great influence as a public speaker and would give daily sermons about the dangers of self-rape. Eventually, Big Masturbation intervened, as usual, and forced Baxter to resign from office for being far too efficient. Instead of appointing McGrath as interim Governor, the U.S. Government eliminated the position of Lt. Governor for Wyoming, erased Avery McGrath from the history books and to this day pretend that Wyoming has never had a Lt. Governor. Avery “Rowdy” McGrath died unloved and penniless in a bar brawl in 1891.

2. Manly Esterbrook (Special Constable, Bantam CT – 1914-1916)

Special Constable Manly Esterbrook

Manly Esterbrook took his position of Special Constable of Bantam, CT very seriously. A strapping young man who was not afraid to tell everyone he met how much he loved Jesus; Manly traveled around the Eastern seaboard as a prize-fighter. He grew increasingly disgusted with the carnival folk he encountered and their sinful, self-raping ways. Esterbrook met with several like-minded power brokers in Connecticut and was quickly appointed as Special Constable of Bantam, Connecticut. During his two-year reign as Anti-Self-Rape champion, Esterbrook made masturbation illegal not only in Bantam but in the surrounding townships. Violators were forced to be Esterbrook’s sparring partners and he justifiably beat the sin out of them while keeping himself in ring shape. While Esterbrook kept Bantam self-rape free for two years; his contributions were completely ignored by the Liberal Woodrow Wilson administration. Manly Esterbrook returned to underground boxing after his political ambitions ended and faded into obscurity thanks to the Liberal rewriting of history.

 1. Charles Hampton (Executioner – ????-1855)

Charles HamptonCharles Hampton, shown above in the only known photo of him, served as an executioner that traveled throughout the frontier during the American expansion to claim more of the wild lands out West. With law finally taking hold in many places, a man who could do a good killing found himself with many opportunities. Hampton, skilled at many differing types of killing, also did side work hunting down and freeing self-rapists from their torment. After his murder at the hands of a foaming masturbator in 1855, detectives found multiple bound volumes detailing Hampton’s life as a secret self-rapist hunter. While not much could be officially verified, if Hampton’s journals are to be believed, he personally sent over 3,000 self-rapists to Double Hell by way of his trusty blade and cunning poisoning skills. Not surprisingly, U.S. Marshals sent word of Hampton’s great work to Washington D.C. only to have the details destroyed and covered up by the Liberal Franklin Pierce administration.

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fuck you
fuck you
7 years ago

By the way I jus blew a huge load from masterbating in your mom’s hair

Jason Wilcons
Jason Wilcons
7 years ago

I cant believe this website actually exists. This is pointless. Trying to stop masturbation is like trying to stop racism. It will not happen.

Jason Wilcons
Jason Wilcons
7 years ago

And the story of the boxer that beat people up for masturbation. . Really?

7 years ago

Manly by name, Manly by nature *swoon*