Animals / Big Masturbation / Civics / Fappy / Lifestyle / Lonnie Childs / Moral Outrage / Morals / Politics / Self-Rape Prevention

Paul Horner aka Fappy the Anti-Masturbation Dolphin MUST GO NOW

The grumblings have going on for some time among the Stop Masturbation NOW elders and I in good conscience must come out and say: Paul Horner aka Fappy the Anti-Masturbation Dolphin MUST GO NOW!

The man is a disgrace to Brother Lonnie’s outreach efforts to poor and disenfranchised children who don’t have the advantages afforded to God’s preferred and most loved white children. It is already hard enough to reach these children of masturbaters before it’s too without Horner’s extracurricular activities gaining national attention and setting SMN Ministries back. CBS News is reporting that Horner was caught masturbating and trying to fornicate with the dolphins at Sea World while wearing only his Fappy mask.

Christian Anti-Masturbation’s Mascot “Fappy” Arrested For Public Masturbation While Swimming Naked With The Dolphins At Sea World San Diego

http://cbsnews.com.co/christian-anti-masturbations-mascot-arrested

How anyone can continue to believe that Brother Horner can still be the face of Stop Masturbation NOW defies logic.  I understand at one time he was a beloved asset to SMN Ministries but his decision making has been erratic at best and damaging to our efforts at worst.  These bad decisions now include visiting Sea World.  I know for a fact that Brother Horner saw “Blackfish” because we watched it together on Netflix while chilling.  We then had a very heated, passionate 15 minute debate about the treatment of the killer whales while in captivity which resulted in a lot of overturned furniture and a call to the police.  After resting for a bit we resumed our passionate debate session for another 15-20 minutes so he is well aware of my rock hard disdain for Sea World and yet he chose to attend and support animal cruelty regardless.

It is this mentality and behavior that Brother Horner exhibits that makes spreading our message even more difficult as we are perceived as old fashioned and behind the times.  Animal cruelty is no joke and I nominate my Christians Overcoming Carnal Knowledge (COCK) partner Brother Rodrigo as Horner’s replacement.  He is a strong presence in the SMN community, has rippling muscles, is disease free and well versed in erotic matters.  His eight inches will fill out Fappy’s costume nicely and he too is a rock hard supporter of animal rights and won’t embarrass SMN Ministries with his bad decision making.

Brother Rodrigo (on the left) engaging in Christian Fellowship.

Brother Rodrigo (on the left) engaging in Christian Fellowship.

I call on Brother Lonnie to excommunicate Brother Paul Horner forthwith!

God bless some of you.

 

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Colin Gomes
Colin Gomes
4 years ago

Fuck Paul Horner!

Liam McKey
4 years ago

Paul Horner needs Lonnie’s help.

Paul Horner
4 years ago

These are all lies spread by the liberal hate machine! And fuck you guys!

Yo momma
Yo momma
4 years ago

Suck my COCK.

IAMSATAN
IAMSATAN
4 years ago

I would fuck that dolphin harder then that priest last sunday

Adolf Hitler
4 years ago

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? – Barry? – Adam? – Oan you believe this is happening? – I can’t. I’ll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father… Read more »

Jack-off-Jenson
Jack-off-Jenson
4 years ago
Reply to  Adolf Hitler

thank you for this 🙂

C
C
3 years ago
Reply to  Adolf Hitler

That was bee-autiful.

A masturbater
A masturbater
4 years ago

Paul Horners name is kind of ironic.

Barry bee
Barry bee
4 years ago

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? – Barry? – Adam? – Oan you believe this is happening? – I can’t. I’ll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father… Read more »

FUH Q
3 years ago
Reply to  Barry bee

FUCK YOU NIGER DICK SUCKING BIBLE THUMPING COCK SMOKER.

Imaster batenow
Imaster batenow
4 years ago

Free my nigga fappy

Iluvto mashturbate
4 years ago

Who else jacked their dicks whilst reading all of this? Or flicked their beans.

please have sex with me

i have a 6’11” dick and am looking for a 98 year old girlfriend that lives in sweden to meet in a motel room.

Jizzus Christ
Jizzus Christ
3 years ago

I think Fappy is an American hero like Rosa Parks but better. He should be honored and cherished . HAIL FLAPPY

Dick Tracer
Dick Tracer
2 years ago

It feels as though an autistic 8 year old wrote this article. You need to go back to school, or learn to proof read your shit dawg.

…still wont stop me from jacking off to this.