Family Values

Local Girl Discovers Simple Method to Defeat Masturbation Finger Sniff Test

The toilet isn’t the only dirty place getting rubbed.

(StopMasturbationNOW)—One of the most powerful tools we fathers had to detect whether our daughters or wives were masturbating was the simple finger smell test. Masturbation leaves a fishy smelling oil on the skin of the fingers which is almost impossible to wash off. However Dr Aaron Cartilage of Spokane Washington recently discovered is daughter hadn’t failed a finger sniff test in months but was acting moody and had started getting acne.

So to solve this issue he put a infrared camera in his daughters bedroom. After reviewing just one nights footage he found the awful truth. His daughter got up in the middle of the night went to the closet where she retrieved some rubber gloves put them on and went back to bed where she proceeded to self rape herself not once but three times that hour alone. After watching this footage for the whole hour Aaron was shocked. How long had this been going on? He watched for a whole week and sure enough it happened each night. After a week he confronted her and now the family sleeps in shifts.

This is a very sad but cautionary tale that had to be shared amongst the faithful. It is important to remember that evil is all around us and to not fall for its trickery. We are here to help, whether it be the anti-masturbation cross or the anti masturbation straight jacket, our faith-scientists will always be working for your family’s sake.

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Cassidy Pen
6 years ago

Parents should immediately confiscate those Tiger Beat magazines from their households. There’s much self rape inducing content in those teen publications.

Truffle
6 years ago

Amputation of upper limbs, must never be ruled out!

Caitlyn
Caitlyn
6 years ago

Why in the world would any father spy on the daughter? Sicko! It must me Bob Duggar doing this or a Josh Duggar pulled one of these with his daughter! F* nasty! This can’t be a religion, more like a cult! Masturbation is completely healthy not a sin! A sin would be sneaking and watching your daughter masturbate! It probably turns him on! Disgusting! :/

Ya boy
Ya boy
6 years ago

Is this a joke? Is the person behind this website a super troll? To the sick fuck who watched a video of his daughter masturbating, you are now going to hell you sick cunt. I hope someone comes to your house and sodomises you, you’re a fucking parasite. You dumb fucks think your actually helping people with this shit. Everyone in the world except you brainwashed fucks masturbates. The doctor who might operate on you, the policeman who might save your life, the lawyer who might stop you from going to jail. “Smelling your daughters fingers” you have got to… Read more »

Deez nuts
6 years ago

Hail Satan 666 yeah man

Tawnya Bryant
6 years ago

What father would smell his daughters fingers and watch her masturbate? He is a pedophile.

obama420o
6 years ago

religious cunts

masturbator
masturbator
6 years ago

why the fuck does this exist

Obama.pot.liberal.porn
Obama.pot.liberal.porn
6 years ago

Go to hell you motherfucker

Jimmy
Jimmy
6 years ago

Stink finger is an awesome way to perform a moisture check as well, eh truffle! 😉

Memnoch
Memnoch
6 years ago

You all know this is a joke site right?

Jimmy
Jimmy
6 years ago

It’s hilarious! Fap fap fap. Rubbing one out now!

k
k
6 years ago

Jesus likes to masterbating his uncircumcised cock all over your face while he teabags your mothers but hole.

matt
matt
6 years ago

99% of the men in the world and the other 1% are liars.

Jordan
Jordan
6 years ago

There are 2 kinds of masturbaters in this world… the ones who say they do and the ones who say they dont. So fuck off with this bullshit

Joy
Joy
6 years ago

What??? Wow ok frontal lobe isn’t fully formed till 16. And why would you go to this great of length to find out something that is human nature once puberty hits. This man is disgusting.