Death / Trending

‘Mile High Club’ Masturbation Feat Goes Awry

Officials speculate that an attempt to join a fictional ‘club’ of masturbatory achievement has led to a small plane crashing off the coast of Jamaica on Friday. Many details are still unknown, however it is now confirmed that the doomed flight left Rochester, New York this morning and became “unresponsive” about an hour and fifteen minutes later. Jamaican officials have confirmed the plane crashed 14 miles off the northeast coast of Port Antonio, Jamaica.

Keith Carter FaAeEng., an expert on faith aeronautical engineering at The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow, said, “It seems likely this is a case of masturbation at high altitude gone wrong. Joining the so-called ‘Mile High Club’ is something many extreme tier masturbators aspire to. However, many are not prepared to the affects of masturbating in a confined space. Just as passengers are warned about DVT when flying long distances, the same risks apply to the reproductive organs. In a case such as today’s, more than likely the pilot was engaging in unsafe masturbation and either passed out due to the altitude or threw a clot in his reproductive organs. In either case, the plane would definitely become ‘unresponsive’ and we are just fortunate the aircraft came down safely in the ocean and no normals were injured.”

These types of aeronautical disasters do happen, as evidenced by the 1997 case of John Denver that our writer, Milton Grits, recently detailed on this holy netsite.

As details are still coming in, the facts of this doomed flight may change; however, as of now Dr. Carter’s theory remains one of the most likely causes of this unfortunate incident.

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Lonnie Childs
Admin
7 years ago

Masturbators are beyond reckless when it comes to their nasty little habit. How many more planes must crash before people wake up? Praying now.

bet4band
7 years ago
Reply to  Lonnie Childs

hi lonnie

Korean Jesus
Korean Jesus
7 years ago

VALIDATE HER RIGHT IN THE CAT!!!

Pat Magroin
Pat Magroin
7 years ago

I’m sorry about whatever happened to you that turned you into an ignorant joykiller. Also, netsite is not a word.

Lonnie Childs
Admin
7 years ago
Reply to  Pat Magroin

Agreed, Sister Pat. The masturbators who troll this holy netsite sure do make things less enjoyable for the rest of us. I’m guessing they were molested as children.

Korean Jesus
Korean Jesus
7 years ago
Reply to  Lonnie Childs

Newsflash I’m only 15 you cheep donkey prostitute!

Nikita Shalavin
7 years ago
Reply to  Korean Jesus

Newsflash Korean Jesus. If you are 15 and you masturbate, then you WERE molested as a child. By your own filthy self. Praying at you, and your poor Korean mother who was too busy drinking and working at a sweat shop to give you a proper upbringing.

Korean Jesus
Korean Jesus
7 years ago

I’m not even Korean you dumptruck!!!

Nikita Shalavin
7 years ago

Your name is Korean Jesus. You are Korean. And a liar.

Korean Jesus
Korean Jesus
7 years ago

I’m not Korean you big sexy hunk of man meat I’m Dutch!

Jimmy
Jimmy
7 years ago

Shut up Yanni!

augustweisz
Admin
7 years ago

You look Korean.

Nikita Shalavin
7 years ago

Please excuse yourself from our holy website mastubator. Don’t you have a Chihuahua to BBQ?

Bono Reznor
Bono Reznor
7 years ago

MMM… BBQ!

Korean Jesus's Mother
Korean Jesus's Mother
7 years ago

I think you were molested As a child you ignorant bible trucker

Ameerul146
Ameerul146
7 years ago

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Korean st.mary
Korean st.mary
7 years ago

Please reply you ugly ignorant fat homosexual church going ugly roostermouthing truckers….ps. U trucker hounds talk to my sun like that again I will kill your family and burn down your church and be respectful.

Asyraf246
Asyraf246
7 years ago
Reply to  Korean st.mary

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Jimmy
Jimmy
7 years ago
Reply to  Cathy Redmond

Shut up and show us your cunt bitch!!!

GHOST OF KOREAN JOSEPH SMITH
GHOST OF KOREAN JOSEPH SMITH
7 years ago

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Asyraf246
Asyraf246
7 years ago

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Korean Joseph
Korean Joseph
7 years ago

GOD LOVES MASTURBATING. I’m not even Jesus’s real dad. Me and God were eiffel towering Mary and he came all up in that pussy.

Ameerul146
Ameerul146
7 years ago
Reply to  Korean Joseph

Hey, big surfer! Please do not use unnecessary sexual content in your messages. We had to make several changes to the wishes of the parents according to your many posts under different names. Thank you. So are you satisfied with your television provider cable or satellite TV started? We offer several channels of great low price. Ask if you are interested in the network of cable internet and TV. Thank you, good day!

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Jimmy
Jimmy
7 years ago
Reply to  Korean Joseph

🙂

Jimmy
Jimmy
7 years ago
Reply to  Korean Joseph

Good one korean joseph!

Korean Jesus
Korean Jesus
7 years ago

Just jacked off to your profile pic Cathy Redmond

Asyraf246
Asyraf246
7 years ago
Reply to  Korean Jesus

The bright surfer Hello! Please do not use unnecessary sexual content in your messages. We had to make several editions of the wishes of the parents on the basis of numerous publications with several different names. Thank you. As happy with your cable or satellite TV today? We can offer many channels at a very low cost. Please ask if you are interested in the Internet or cable television network. Thank you, good day!

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KOREAN GOD!!!
KOREAN GOD!!!
7 years ago
Reply to  Asyraf246

I didn’t want to do this but I must you fuckers have only 24 hours left to live!!!

Jimmy
Jimmy
7 years ago

Korean Jesus I wack off to cathy redmond’s picture a couple of times a day. Apparently I have a son as well from all of my reckless jerking. I’m still waiting to see Fluffle’s breasts!

Nabilah77
Nabilah77
7 years ago
Reply to  Jimmy

Hello, intelligent surfer! Please do not use unnecessary sexual content in the news.I am a woman and I feel sad to see the words directed at other women.
Thank you. So are you satisfied with your current cell phone plan? We can offer you a lot of downloading gigabytes of data at low cost. Please ask if you are interested in mobile phone service works well for Android and Apple phone. Thank you, good day!

Nabilah77
Nabilah77
7 years ago
Reply to  Nabilah77

Please.
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Jimmy
Jimmy
7 years ago
Reply to  Nabilah77

Show me a picture of your tits and twat then maybe I’ll believe that you are a woman!

Jimmy
Jimmy
7 years ago

And I’d love to see Cathy’s gorgeous red bush. Wacking off now!

Nabilah77
Nabilah77
7 years ago
Reply to  Jimmy

Please, surfer, stop, please. Have a happy day! >;-) Nabilah77

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Jimmy
Jimmy
7 years ago
Reply to  Nabilah77

Shut up bitch

Jimmy
Jimmy
7 years ago

I’m moving up on the prayer leaderboard!!!

Korean Joseph
Korean Joseph
7 years ago
Reply to  Jimmy

CONGRATS! YOU EARNED IT. I hope you can keep moving up so these butt fuckers die in a hole

Jimmy
Jimmy
7 years ago

I’m coming for you Cathy!!!

Korean Jesus
Korean Jesus
7 years ago

lets tag team her jimmy

Korean Joseph
Korean Joseph
7 years ago
Reply to  Korean Jesus

I want in as well. It might as well be a Royal Rumble

Jimmy
Jimmy
7 years ago

I’d love to Korean Jesus. And we could get Truffle, who I’ve renamed Fluffle to be our fluffer. I also want to circle jerk with Carlos Danger, Milton Grits and Lonnie Childs. Are you up for it?

Korean Jesus
Korean Jesus
7 years ago
Reply to  Jimmy

He’ll yeah I’ll bring the Vaseline!!!

Jimmy
Jimmy
7 years ago

Yes please Korean Joseph. Read my other posts. I fantasize about circle jerking with all the boys and Fluffle can be our fluffer and Cathy Redmound can be our clean up bitch!

Praise

Cassidy Pen
7 years ago

You’re a repulsive personality, Jimmy. Why don’t you take your abusive attitude away and leave decent folk alone?