Articles by: Paul Boner

Christian Anti-Masturbation’s Mascot Arrested For Public Masturbation After Accepting Award

Christian Anti-Masturbation’s Mascot Arrested For Public Masturbation After Accepting Award

Tybee Island, GA — In an ironic twist of a fate, a mascot for a Christian anti-masturbation group was arrested yesterday for masturbating in public. The mascot along with his organization, Stop Masturbation Now, recently finished a federally funded 31-city nationwide school tour which they claim focused on educating both […]

by February 10, 2015 4 comments Fappy
Mom Calls 911 On Masturbating Teenage Son; Boy Arrested, Charged With New ‘Self-Rape’ State Law

Mom Calls 911 On Masturbating Teenage Son; Boy Arrested, Charged With New ‘Self-Rape’ State Law

Phoenix, AZ — A Phoenix boy is behind bars tonight after his mother called 9-1-1 when she found her son in his room, watching pornography and masturbating. Phoenix Police were quick to respond, arresting 15-year-old Paul Horner, who attends North Valley High School in Phoenix, Arizona. Now the teenager is […]

by November 25, 2014 25 comments Fappy
Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin To Star In The Big Lebowski 2 Which Begins Filming In January 2015

Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin To Star In The Big Lebowski 2 Which Begins Filming In January 2015

Hollywood, CA — Exciting news for Big Lebowski fans around the world as a sequel to the cult classic has just been announced. Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, directors of the first Lebowski movie, confirmed with E! Online they will both be returning to direct the sequel. “We’re thrilled to […]

by October 10, 2014 4 comments Fappy, Lonnie Childs
Christian Anti-Masturbation Group Sues Other Christian Anti-Masturbation Group For $350 Million Claiming Trademark Infringement

Christian Anti-Masturbation Group Sues Other Christian Anti-Masturbation Group For $350 Million Claiming Trademark Infringement

Creve Coeur, MO — A federally funded Christian anti-masturbation organization claims that another federally funded Christian anti-masturbation organization has violated their intellectual property and is now suing for millions. Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin and their parent organization Stop Masturbation Now have accused Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Shark of using the same […]

by August 6, 2014 14 comments Fappy, Money
Argentinian Man Masturbates 83 Times In 24 Hour Period – New World Record

Argentinian Man Masturbates 83 Times In 24 Hour Period – New World Record

La Falda, Argentina – Residents of a small town in Argentina are celebrating today as one of their own citizens has become the new record holder in the field of masturbation. From 8pm Thursday evening until 8pm Friday night, 22-year-old Hugo Lopez from the city of La Falda masturbated a […]

by July 21, 2014 15 comments Foreigners, Morals, Sports, World
Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin Receives Full Pardon By AZ Gov. Jan Brewer

Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin Receives Full Pardon By AZ Gov. Jan Brewer

Phoenix, AZ — Arizona Governor Jan Brewer announced her controversial decision today granting a full pardon to 35-year-old Phoenix resident Paul Horner, known to his thousands of followers as Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin. Horner made world news last month after his ironic arrest for public masturbation. “I did a lot […]

by July 12, 2014 36 comments Politics
Christian Anti-Masturbation Group’s Mascot Arrested For Public Masturbation

Christian Anti-Masturbation Group’s Mascot Arrested For Public Masturbation

Phoenix, AZ — In an ironic twist of a fate, a mascot for a Christian anti-masturbation group was arrested Sunday for masturbating in public. The organization recently finished a federally funded 31-city nationwide school tour which it says focused on educating both children and parents about the dangerous consequences of […]

by July 7, 2014 18 comments Self-Rape Prevention
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