WATERTOWN-CT (SMNNN) Using the same supercomputer used to predict the 400% increase in natural disasters in 2015, the same leading faithscientists have announced they have run another simulation, which this time also predicts a 400% rise in super-natural disasters. The super-computer, which was comprised of twelve F-Drive ( dominant faith-based […]
FITZROY CROSSING, AUSTRALIA — (SMNNN) A group of children loyal to the growing “Stop Masturbation Now, Australia!” movement took over a radio station in Fitzroy Crossing last week. The gang of children, aged 6 to 11, who refer to themselves as “Childs Youth” in a nod to our savior, Lonnie […]
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkMNOlYcpHg](STOPMasturbationNOW)– Kim Jong Un has achieved yet another level of mass mind control success after closing a music deal with Snoop Doggy Dogg to release a mind control song and take over all of North America and Lesser Mexican America. The song entitled Hangover was written with subliminal Korean messages […]
CANNES, FREEDOM — (SMNNN) Hollywood slave “Leonardo DiCaprio”, probably best known for his role as the titular Private Ryan in ‘Saving Private Ryan’, snubbed recently baptized and confirmed Lonvidian, Justin Bieber, over the weekend. Bieber, now operating on behalf of the Stop Masturbation Now Ministries, was on a conversion and […]
FREETOWN, SIERRA LEONE (SMNNN) — The death toll of aid workers killed by those infected in the recent Masturbation Ebola outbreak in Sierra Leone has tripled in the last week. While local health officials were originally concerned with the deaths of those infected with the disease, the concern has turned […]
