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New Computer Simulation  Shows Masturbation Related Super-Natural Disasters Likey to be 400% Greater in 2015

New Computer Simulation Shows Masturbation Related Super-Natural Disasters Likey to be 400% Greater in 2015

WATERTOWN-CT (SMNNN) Using the same supercomputer used to predict the 400% increase in natural disasters in 2015, the same leading faithscientists have announced they have run another simulation, which this time also predicts a 400% rise in super-natural disasters. The super-computer, which was comprised of twelve F-Drive ( dominant faith-based […]

by June 15, 2014 6 comments Weather, World
“Childs Youth” Gang Takes Over Australian Radio Station

“Childs Youth” Gang Takes Over Australian Radio Station

FITZROY CROSSING, AUSTRALIA — (SMNNN) A group of children loyal to the growing “Stop Masturbation Now, Australia!” movement took over a radio station in Fitzroy Crossing last week. The gang of children, aged 6 to 11, who refer to themselves as “Childs Youth” in a nod to our savior, Lonnie […]

by June 13, 2014 0 comments Foreigners, World
Kim Jong Un Teams Up With Snoop Dogg

Kim Jong Un Teams Up With Snoop Dogg

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkMNOlYcpHg](STOPMasturbationNOW)– Kim Jong Un has achieved yet another level of mass mind control success after closing a music deal with Snoop Doggy Dogg to release a mind control song and take over all of North America and Lesser Mexican America.  The song entitled Hangover was written with subliminal Korean messages […]

Holy Man Bieber snubbed in attempt to convert actor DiCaprio

Holy Man Bieber snubbed in attempt to convert actor DiCaprio

CANNES, FREEDOM — (SMNNN) Hollywood slave “Leonardo DiCaprio”, probably best known for his role as the titular Private Ryan in ‘Saving Private Ryan’, snubbed recently baptized and confirmed Lonvidian, Justin Bieber, over the weekend. Bieber, now operating on behalf of the Stop Masturbation Now Ministries, was on a conversion and […]

by June 13, 2014 2 comments Celebrity, World
Death Toll From Masturbation Ebola Rises In Sierra Leone

Death Toll From Masturbation Ebola Rises In Sierra Leone

FREETOWN, SIERRA LEONE (SMNNN) — The death toll of aid workers killed by those infected in the recent Masturbation Ebola outbreak in Sierra Leone has tripled in the last week. While local health officials were originally concerned with the deaths of those infected with the disease, the concern has turned […]

by June 10, 2014 6 comments Science, World
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