Family Values / Lifestyle / Lonnie Childs / Morals / Self-Rape Prevention

New Female Masturbation Solution

Brother Lonnie’s Anti-Masturbation Research and Development team has recently completed work on one of their most ambitious projects to date; a contraption that serves as a solution to the female masturbation problem. The new product, dubbed the “Sin Cave Stopper®” by Brother Lonnie, himself, has reached the final testing stages and should be released to the general public shortly.

Lead Engineer on the “Sin Cave Stopper®” project, Raymond P. Ellis, explains the faith technology and how it works, “Project “Lesser Gendered No-Go” (the production name for this amazing new product) works by simply plugging up the genital area of women who don’t have the will power to refrain from giving into Satan’s urges. The ‘Stopper’ is a rubberized plastic inverse cup that the female shoves into her genital area and it creates a tight seal inside the cavern. Not only does this serve as a way to trap all of the devil’s moisture before it can cause a problem; it also block all foreign object entry to further stimulate the female genitalia in unacceptable ways. Notably, it will keep unauthorized penises, sexual toy devices and wood carved into phallic shapes from being used in unapproved ways.”

Ellis thinks that, “He (Brother Lonnie) will make certain that all lesser-gendereds at His various campounds are outfitted with this new apparatus immediately.” There will also, “be a version marketed to those outside the campound” as Ellis explains, “Market tests have proven that men around the world have had enough of the disgusting female masturbation problem and are excited to finally be able to do something about it.” The faith products division of BLUFF hopes to have this item on store shelves by “Spring 2015” citing that “by Spring is essential as the masturbation rates skyrocket once the weather heats up”.

The retail version of Brother Lonnie's "Sin Cave Stopper®" . Available soon from Brother Lonnie's site and fine religious outlet stores across America.

The retail version of Brother Lonnie’s “Sin Cave Stopper®” . Available soon from Brother Lonnie’s site and fine religious outlet stores across America.

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augustweisz
Admin
5 years ago

Some good news for a change! This would make a great mothers day or graduation gift.

some "french idiot"
some "french idiot"
5 years ago
Reply to  augustweisz

Give that to your mother come back with a permanent slap mark on your face

theannoyingliberal
5 years ago

This is…….just so……beautiful! *wipes tear* Finally, an invention that may help me once and for all!!

sneezy
sneezy
5 years ago

Do you wear on the nose or in it?

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
5 years ago

I doubt anyone smart would buy this

augustweisz
Admin
5 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

So you are saying you want 5?

A Smart Guy
A Smart Guy
5 years ago
Reply to  augustweisz

No, I know masturbation is healthy, so I won’t ever buy these

sweetya
5 years ago
Reply to  A Smart Guy

This is a Dixy Cup it is used by Women on their periods instead of tampons or pads……. You just relabeld it. I will buy it only if it is cheaper than normal Dixy Cups…

Ana
Ana
5 years ago

That’s a me steal cup. This is total bs.

Ana
Ana
5 years ago
Reply to  Ana

For your period

ILOLAtDeadDegenerates
ILOLAtDeadDegenerates
5 years ago

The chastity belt was an old and better way in my opinion. Or just make sin unpopular again. Where the herd goes, women will follow.

some "french idiot"
some "french idiot"
5 years ago

Macho man spotted

wow you people suck
wow you people suck
5 years ago

Wow this is aome crazy bible thumping crap…..

Milton Grits
5 years ago

How is something that will get you to heaven in one piece “crap”?

Colton Caven
5 years ago
Reply to  Milton Grits

because if it smells like crap, looks like crap, and tastes like crap, then you know its crap…. i can already see dumb religious parents forcing this onto there children….

FuckThemChristians-AthiesmFTW
FuckThemChristians-AthiesmFTW
5 years ago

Good thing I’m athiest XD damn retarded Christians.

wow ok
wow ok
5 years ago

You know females could just rub their clit… right?

divoska chlipna
divoska chlipna
5 years ago

Yeh, I have one of these. It gatheres blood inside just like tampons 😉

luiza
luiza
5 years ago

unauthorized penises? XD

Another Smart Guy
Another Smart Guy
4 years ago

I don’t think this is real and if it was nobody would buy it.